She had flesh you could dig into. She was very full bodied, the Matisse kind of woman, in an off the shoulder blouse. Her body was so inviting. Part of it was because she had so much vitality and confidence. Compared to her, the pared-down exercised people were robots. She was the real human body, the sexiest thing around.
— from “juicy tomatoes” by susan swartz

in lieu of anything remotely resembling content, i present to you a lesson in international beverage consumption. i’ve been amusing myself by reading up on the different brands of drinks the coca-cola company makes and markets around the world.
favourite brand name: thumbs up
beverage i want to try: fiavoranti

i updated my about page. prizes for anyone who can find all the changes.

last night, i dreamt that i was smoking. when i read my post about my non-smoking anniversary i instantly felt guilty that i’d smoked last night, not realizing that it was only a dream.

it’s snowing.

i just spent $39.90 to discover that i wasn’t as good a photographer as i remembered, and the boys i thought were cute in highschool were too skinny and looked gay with their tightly rolled white jeans.

so, it’s been two months and some number of days since i stopped smoking. let’s see what the results have been:
– i can smell
– i can taste
– i don’t stink
– morning breath is almost non-existant
– my chest “gurgle” is gone
– my car smells good again
– i can afford to go out once a week extra
– i’m not afraid to get caught by dad/landlord/co-worker
– my teeth are whiter
– my friends are on the patch
– i’ve lost five pounds
it seems like i’ve not smoked for a really long time. i can’t believe how much i don’t miss it. go me!

while going through my junk drawer this morning, i found a hires rootbeer lollipop, three packages of dental floss, a little silver whistle, an alpha swords to plowshares magic: the gathering card and three temporary penguin tattoos.
what a good idea that was!

what a great way to start the day! a boquet of tulips! if you know co-workers with gardens, compliment them on their flowers, you might just get some for yourself, too! they smell so lovely! every time i inhale i smile. this is going to be such a good thursday! i wish i had a camera so i could share them with you.
my dreams were a wild ride last night. in one, jason came back into town and we cleared up misunderstandings about why we haven’t seen each other in a year (but i had the suspicion that he was just looking for nookie). then meghan showed up and invited us both to new westminster to play cards. i thought for sure jay would decline but he was right up for it. next thing i knew we were at a rave in an old fabric store and meghan was parking cars out back to pay for our semi-illegal tickets. then i dreamt about this guy who’s replied to my personal ad on four different occasions.
wow, i just pulled a cat hair out of my shirt. one of meghan’s cat’s hairs. cool.
i’m still agog at completing my full-on cardio-fest last night. stop scoffing. not all of us can run marathons or be naturally thin. after fifteen minutes i thought “i can quit when i get to twenty minutes.” after twenty minutes i thought “okay, i can do five more.” after twenty-five minutes i thought “just… one… minute… more…” each minute until i’d gotten to thirty. i was sweaty and purple and exhausted. stretching has never felt so good. water never tasted so sweet. i must have been drunk on endorphins because i didn’t even mind the extra commute. when i got home i treated myself to pasta for dinner.
god, these flowers smell so good!
karen & i are going to see spider-man on sunday afternoon. at that point, i think we should discuss the possibility of us sharing an apartment. i have a lot of reservations about having a roommate, even if it is her. silly concerns like who owns the condiments in the fridge? do you buy them together or does each person have their own? who’s in charge of filling up the brita? what about tv? i don’t want the tv in my room, but who gets the right to veto? if it’s mine, i think i should. i’d appreciate any suggestions from those in the roommate know.

i guess i’ll have to register this as a domain too…
zaftig (ZAF-tik, -tig) adjective
   Full-figured, pleasingly plump, buxom.
[From Yiddish zaftik (juicy), from Middle High German (saftec), from saft (juice), from Old High German saf (sap).]

i think this is going to be a day i might regret.
because it was supposed to be hot today, i didn’t wear a jacket. now there is some serious cloud cover. i bet it’s going to rain. i’m also going to attempt an after-work workout schedule. thirty minutes of pure cardio before i go home. i’ve done it before, so it shouldn’t be too hard. i just hate sitting in the extra traffic which builds between four and five pm. especially when i’m all hot and sweaty. i need to remember to start bringing an extra bottle of water for the drive. *mental note*
i feel like i waste too much time. i’ve discussed this before, but it’s valid. last night i was sitting at home, eating my dinner, watching something stupid on tv. my balcony door was open and i could see the neighbours across the lane doing yard work. my first thought was “how can they be out there doing chores after work? aren’t they tired?” all i do when i get home is turn into a slug. *poof* hessie the magic gastropoda. i’m lucky if i can wash my dinner dishes or put in a load of laundry. i don’t go out. i don’t *do* anything. i watch tv or fuck around on the computer. i have an average of 5.5 hours between the time i get home and the time i go to bed on any given work day. i should use that time more efficiently. i should use it to study something or make something or go somewhere or talk to someone. but i don’t. i just sit there and contemplate my navel or, at best, read some stupid sci-fi novel.
doing the math, i spend an average of 10.5 hours every day either getting ready for, on my way to, at or on the way home from work and, on average, 8 hours sleeping. that 5.5 hours is all i have for me for days a week (fridays don’t count as i routinely blow the shit out of my sleep schedule in order to stay up late). i don’t do anything because i’ve somehow justified my sloth by waving up the tally of time i spend for work. “look! two-thirds of your waking day is used for someone else! you must now do nothing to compensate for all that something you do during that time!”
i need a new job. or at least some new hobbies. i think i’ll look at the summer session calendar and see if there are any courses i want to take at bcit. i need to exercise my brain. god knows my job doesn’t do it for me.

busy at work. it’s month end and everyone loves me when they want me to do shit for them. although, a printing solution has snagged me lunch with recently-divorced cute chris at some point in the near future. i need to do favours for him more often.
what i really want to do is go into the blissfully cool & air-conditioned fitness room and work out. how fucked up is that? it nearly killed me to get my elliptical in yesterday, but today i wanted to stay in there and sweat for another thirty minutes. i’m a freak!
i really need to phone karen tonight. i wish i knew what’s wrong with me that i can’t just get that done. going to see if she’ll let me take her to see spider-man on friday. not that i can afford it, but i can more than her.
bleh. my left dug feels like a zit that needs to be popped. i rolled over hard this morning and the pain woke me up. stupid boobs.

a few years ago, i went to seattle to meet a friend. she lived in virginia and had wanted to visit the west coast, so i told her i’d meet her in the emerald city. we had a great time. she brought krispy kreme donuts. i brought chocolate smarties. we got drunk atop the space needle and spent an entire day in our hotel room watching road rules episodes.
what i didn’t really know about her reasons for visiting seattle was that there was a boy involved. chuck. she and he and been corresponding for a fair while and had developed an attraction. there were some mutual expectations about their finally meeting. unfortunately, they didn’t pan out. he wasn’t what she expected. i’m not sure if she met his expectations either, but i’m assuming not because he was hitting on me.
yes. a boy i’d just met was hitting on me! he was seriously into me, too. he and i, never having said one word to each other, got along famously. maybe it was that there was no pressure in our meeting or that i felt i had to be extra charming to cut the tension between them… regardless. by the time we got to the billiard hall and started in on the rolling rock, he was blowing in my ear and i was patting his ass in efforts to blow the other’s shots.
back at the hotel room we were sitting around watching tv. i was lying face down on the bed, towards the end. he was sitting on the chair in the corner. at one point he got up to pee and when he returned, he sat on the floor next to me. my friend was on the other bed, being quieter than she’d been all day. finally, she got up and walked out of the room. chuck and i looked at each other and had this moment. i knew that if she had stayed out there another thirty seconds we’d have been slobbering over each other like rabbits with gingivitis.
she came back in, mumbling something about denny’s and picked up her book. that’s when i realized i had to suss out my priorities. i told her to wait a minute and we’d go with her. she wasn’t pleased. on the way out i think chuck got the hint and said he had to go home. we discussed doing something together the next day, but i think we all knew our quota was filled.
i felt really bad for her. i did. i knew what it was like to have your expectations and hopes dashed. i also knew what it was like when a boy you had designs on, no matter how vague, liked your friend instead. but, to this day, i kind of wish i had been more selfish. i wish i’d tugged on chuck’s blue braid and kissed him while she was out in the hall. no. i don’t. i’m glad i was a good friend.
realizing that, sometimes, i can be attractive to someone without having known them for a long while before is good. knowing that it happened once helps me to believe that it can happen again.

the bee may look happy to be back, but it’s really crying inside that it’s back so soon.
we’ll do it next year, boys.

after an eleven-hour night’s sleep, my friday was turning into a crapfest of pain, bordom and yawning. i was glad to get away from my work desk and come home to a kitchen-full of dishes and plans for a night in watching the movies i’ve downloaded over the last couple of days. i should have known the full moon would have a different plan in mind for me.
i figured that with karp in town, i wouldn’t see the friends this weekend and i was okay with that. i have so many household chores to do, i could use the time in. but, meg phoned and invited me over to play cards with them and karp. i would finally get to meet mark’s infamous friend and learn how to play euchre. i was intimidated. mark & he have been friends since third grade and meg loves him a lot. how would mark’s old friend and meg’s old friend get along? only the shadow knows…
fuck, i’m way overdramatic today. sorry.
anyway, karp is a riot and we got on like gangbusters. it’s obvious that he and mark grew up together. they even tell stories similarly. i drank a couple too many beer (which, for me, means four instead of two) and started to flirt. i couldn’t help it! he was cute and has a deep voice. he would hum while he was deciding what card to play and i thought i could feel the floor vibrate. my internal dialogue while sitting across from him went something like:
mm, he’s cute. nice eyes. look at those hands!
stop that!
*flips hair*
i said stop that!
why? he’s cute!
he also lives far away!
so did paul. and jason.
and look how those turned out.
hrmf.
what do you want? a quick bonk in the spare room?
is that so wrong?
yeah, the bed squeaks.
oh, right.
smarten up.
*eye contact*
you’re not listening.
*fingers in ears* la la la! i can’t hear you!
geez… thank god he’s leaving town tomorrow.
but i have pretty underwear on!
*sigh*
when i left (at quarter to four. in the morning.), we shook hands and expressed our mutual gladness to meet the other and learn new card games. i was struck with a sudden urge to hug him. i didn’t, of course. i wanted to, though. really bad.
i got home and stayed up for another hour or so and then finally crashed. when my eyes opened at quarter to nine (four hours later) i catagorically refused to wake up and went back to sleep for another couple hours. now i’m finishing up my dishes, finally, getting the laundry done and in a bit, going shopping before the canuck’s last gasp. despite all the chores, i’m having a damn fine day. flirting really puts me in a good mood!

Cancer
You could be considering an impulsive purchase of an item for your home. In some cases, you might even be considering a change of residence. Before you do anything rash, ask yourself what your real motivations are. Will you really improve anything?
how’d they know about that? freaky.

– use the phrase “pig fuckers” more in daily life.
– ow. call the doctor, you masochistic freak.
– don’t give up. they still have a chance to advance.
– be a bitch if it will make you feel better.
– stretch.
– enjoy the donuts, but don’t make a habit of them.
– don’t tell dad kim asked if he was your grandfather.
– stop whining.
– phone tyler.
– don’t blow your budget this week.
– remember jeremy’s birthday.
– phone karen.
– do dishes.
– don’t be jealous carp’s in town.
– stop thinking about paul. he wasn’t *that* good in bed.

i wish i’d picked a shorter name for this when i’d started. something quick and slick. even something just as long, but acronymable. but, who knew i’d still be doing this twenty months later?

my left earlobe feels sexy.