pity party for one!

i’m smack dab in the middle of a major “woe is me” funk.
i feel the need to bitch and whine about all the things making me sad, crazy, angry and frustrated, but i know that if i even began to start to tell anyone i’d get blank stares or rolling eyes in return. so, what do i do? i put them on the internet where i don’t have to see any “you’ve got to be kidding me” expressions.
– my car is acting like a little bitch and i am so very tired of being stressed out every time i get into it. no one knows what’s wrong and, even if they did, i don’t have any spare money to try to fix it. in the year i’ve had it i’ve spent as much on repairs, if not more, than i paid for it. yet, i have no other options. i can’t afford another car and i have no desire to spend the winter commuting via public transit.
– my co-workers are pissing me off to an amazing degree. just because YOU can’t remember a simple little thing *I* have to change the way i work? i don’t think so. obviously they have no fucking idea how many “little things” i need to remember on a daily basis in order to do my job correctly; how many dozens of exceptions to every single thing i do i need to keep in mind as i go about my day. seriously?
– i want that fucking comfy chair out of my fucking apartment RIGHT NOW, goddammit!
– while money isn’t nearly as much a stressor as it was just a couple months ago, things are still pretty tight and i’m tired of that. every possible expense, other than living expenses, is weighed cautiously to calculate it’s merit before i spend. it’s utterly exhausting.
– i really miss the jogging. i know it was only 60-90 seconds at at time, but after a while i was able to see marked improvement in how i performed and how i felt. i don’t get as good a workout on the stationary bike, but it’s the only thing i can do with my stupid wonky knee acting up again and again. it frustrates me because i just want to run!
– waiting for the MRI to start the trip down the knee surgery road is also bugging me. i can’t really afford to go through the process until next year, but i would at least like to feel there’s some progress. plus, even though it means there was someone messing about inside my body, i’m really looking forward to the 6-8 weeks off work for recovery.
– i want a shiny new cell phone like the one christopher just got. *pout*
– my new jeans keep slipping down my ass and i’m sick of yanking them up, but it’s cheaper than having them altered and i hate wearing belts.
– i hate silverfish. and fruit flies.
– it’d be really nice if i could have a good night’s sleep, too.
– trying to re-arrange my travel plans to victoria this weekend, eliminating the car (so i can leave it at the mechanic’s to do the fixing i can’t afford), is proving annoying. i have the going 95% sorted, but the returning is either going to cost a lot of money or take a lot of time — neither of which i really want to have to deal with. grr.