so, i’m reading this book and it’s smutty. i mean, really smutty. not with “throbbing hardness”es and “womanly centre”s either. i’m talking all the four-letter words to describe people’s naughty bits. and the main characters are spending a lot of time getting to know each other’s bits and pieces in great detail.
i have no problem with all of that. in fact, i’m quite enjoying it. but, what i realized is that these two characters have been spending all this time doing things that naked people do and no one’s had to go to the bathroom. why doesn’t fiction include the less-than-polite side of human bodily functions? they write about other sensations and functions of the human excretory system, but they never talk about what it’s like to have a poop in your significant other’s bathroom for the first time.
why is that? i mean, it’s a natural function of the human body, just like all that sex they’re having. they’re eating and drinking to replenish their strength, why aren’t they excreting, too?
i really hope i’m not the only person to wonder about that. ahem.
Heh. It’s funny. You never hear about any of that stuff. It’s just like in soap operas. These people live in these giant mansions. Do you ever see them make out a bill? No. Same with books. How do these people live? But that’s more in soap operas. None of these people in soaps have jobs. Sure, there’s your occasional doctor or five, because you need that hospital scene thrown in there. You just never see “Chauncey”, the woman shacked up in the multi-million dollar pad cutting a check for the electric bill. =P