i have a friend with an asian fetish; although, he hates it when i call it that. he’d rather name it — if it has to be named at all — an asian preference. bullshit. it’s a fetish. he lusts after asian chicks. he’s a rice king; although, he hates that name, too. he calls himself a rice prince. it’s all about the perception of impropriety, you see.
we were talking last night about all these beautiful asian girls he’s meeting and lusting after lately. i got quiet after a while. i didn’t have much to add to the conversation. i don’t see anything special about asian women. just as i don’t see anything special about italian men. “people are people,” to quote depeche mode.
getting to the root of it, it made me feel inadequate for not being asian. for being a hulking, caucasian girl with brown hair and round eyes and white skin. for not being a sylph. for not being mysterious and demure. i said to him at one point, “us poor caucasian girls just can’t compete.” he didn’t reply. he knew i was right.
i’d like to think i’m pretty open-minded about the people i lust after. yeah, i have a thing for accents; but, i’ll take almost any accent. i’ve had crushes on just about every kind of person i’ve been exposed to: white, black, asian, indian (east and native), european, boy, girl, old, young. i’m an equal-opportunity luster.
if i’m completely honest with myself, part of my discomfort with his preference is that i’ll never be one of the preferred. he may love me and value my friendship, but i’ll never been that “cute asian girl” he’s always talking about. it hurts. then again, it usually does when you reveal truths.
sounds like that guy likes a stereotype. i’m asian but not mysterious, demure, or graceful. i’m quiet, sometimes rude, and gauche. it disturbs me when guys like me only because i’m asian, not for me.
*remaining silent on this one*
stereotypes, clichés, klischees are stupid – but sometimes so sweet. :)
well, shoot. did i sound peeved and snotty in my last comment? my point is it’s nice to be wanted and loved but it can be empty unless you’re being wanted for you, and not for some false idea of you. ok. now i’ll shut up.
chaos, i agree with you 100%!!
I’ve had the same feelings before, where i think someone wanted me just because I fit this or that stereotype… and it just made me upset because I didn’t feel like they really cared about who I really am.
to play devil’s advocate, chaos, do you like caucasions? or mostly asian men? it goes every way. people have preferences.
i like dark haired / light eyed girls… that shouldn’t make blonde haired / brown eyed girls feel inadequate… it’s human nauture to prefer things.
i like sugar in my coffee, but nothing else. that shouldn’t make the creamer feel inadequate.
easy for you to say, sugar boy. =(
i’m going to elope with the milk jug.
i like both caucasians and asians. i’ve liked an african american as well. i do have certain preferences and i agree with you, scott, that it’s perfectly natural. but it’s different to prefer someone who has brown hair because you just like that color, or because you assume all brunettes are sporty, for example. am i making any sense?
ok, i can’t shut up. in case i was speaking gibberish before.. i like guys with eurpoean accents. sometimes i find it arousing, but i’m not going to go only for guys with european accents nor do i automatically like someone just for the accent. get what i’m saying? no? oh.
you never hear europeans saying they have a thing for american accents, do you? speaking as a european, i’d just like to be the first to say i do have a thing for american accents. :)
you know, i think everyone’s a victim of the stereotyping thing to some extent. i mean, ultimately, nobody’s going to look at you in a bar and suddenly love you for who you are. are you going to start worrying that people only hit on you in bars because they think you’re cute, or because they think you might be a minx between the sheets because you dress like a sex kitten?
i know it’s not the same thing… but if your dream guy at first wants you because he has a thing for manga, but then grows to love you for what you are, over time, is it really that much different from him wanting you because you’re the cutest girl in the bar?
there are people out there who only wish they had some way of getting that initial attraction. i’m not saying it doesn’t suck, but there are worse things in life than having people hitting on you for the wrong reasons. :)
i get what you’re saying, iain and you make a valid point. i’m just speaking from personal experience and i ended up hurt from someone who wanted me only because he thought i fit the asian stereotype.