weak-willed.

i gave in. i’m eating the muffin. very, very tasty. probably because i waited so long to partake. mmm. denial is such a powerful spice.
speaking of spice, the space channel is airing the remake of dune. yes, the one i paid $4.99 to rent and never watched. well, they’ve broken it up into three two-hour parts. i can handle that. it’s still bad, but i’m two-thirds of the way through and will be watching until the end.
i’m rather grumpy today. actually, i’ve been rather grumpy for about a week, maybe more. i feel a little used. i feel a little stressed. i feel a little restless. i feel unloved. i feel unmotivated. time is whipping by and i don’t feel like i’ve accomplished anything. ever. the only things i look forward to are going home, playing cards and june.
have i mentioned i’m attempting to not smoke during the week any longer? i know better than to try not to smoke while with meg & mark. i’m controlling the controllable. we’ll see how long it lasts.
i want a cat. something soft, warm, and affectionate which will love me and keep me company when i feel alone. how sad i am. but at least i’m not a jerry’s kid looking for a sperm donor to knock me up so i can gestate something to love. i don’t want to be that white trash.
it won’t be the same ever again, you know.