i thought this would be a traumatic aquatic commute. fortunately, i was mistaken. it’s a brilliant, sunny day and the choppy seas are making the boat pitch and roll in a rather soothing manner. a plethora of white sails are interspersed with the white caps on the strait today. the gales have blown away most of the urban haze (smog is just too crass a name), leaving the city bare to any lascivious gaze. after optically caressing her, i feel a vague need for nicotine. i can’t tell if our partner in this nautical drag race is a populated ship. staring at it has only left me more in doubt and a green hue to anything else i look upon.
i overheard two women talking on the ferry about that cat. you know, the hoax.
“the cat was *this big*,” woman one said. “it ate raccoons!”
i love the internet.
i’m reading “the satanic verses”. it’s not quite what i expected. salman writes oddly, almost gaiman/pratchett-esque, but the language, the phonetics, are challenging. i feel like a foreigner. as if i’ve been dropped into a conversation in latin, not understanding a syllable.
movies i’ve seen in the last 60 hours:
knight’s tale
best of show
anti-trust
bring out the dead
movies i want to see this summer:
AI
moulin rouge
tomb raider
final fantasy
while driving to the ferry, i had a sudden, painful memory. i don’t recall the details of it now, two hours later, but i do indeed recall the feelings it evoked. god how i miss him some moments.
i always seem to be in the midst of missing something or someone.
i need to start appreciating what i have, not what i’ve lost.
that’s hard though, sometimes. you’ve got me, though! *grin* how comforting.
You have to learn how to let go of what’s gone. :)
Where did your comments go up above?
Well, I’ll just comment here.
I want to see Moulin Rouge too. But don’t tell anybody ok? :)
Oh, I understand now, these are all posts from your trip. I’m slow. :)
just remember, HE’S NOT WORTHY!
it’s not about whether he’s worthy or not. it’s about me learning to let go.
that’s true. I just don’t know that letting go is a learned response. You’re ready when you’re ready. Acknowledging that you deserve other things, better things, may be part of that. Giving yourself permission to grieve over something, or someone, and then giving yourself permission to be okay without them, is part of it too.
At least that’s how it’s been for me. Lately.
test