tomorrow starts my two weeks of hell at work. monday & tuesday will be Train Byron Days. from wednesday on, i get to be sean while i keep babysitting byron while he tries to figure out how to do my job. so, i’m writing this on sunday night. at eleven p.m. when i should really be sleeping considering i didn’t get to bed until two-thirty this morning and it took most of the day to rid me of my hangover. there will be crashing very early this week. trust me on this one.
saturday was a great, fun day. even going into work for a couple of hours was good. then colene showed up and we took off for a night of fun, food and cougars. we had some yummy sushi on denman street, then we laughed until it hurt at theatresports’ “the imprentice” and then we ended up at a total cougar bar back on the north shore. i fell in lust with a hipster guy at the bar while colene couldn’t get over the crazy oldpeople demographic patronizing the place. yay for having colene to girltalk with all night (and drive me home after getting drunk at the pub).
today, i nursed my hangover and then went out to celebrate a 95th birthday party. hazel is a great lady and i’m thankful that, through meghan, i’ve gotten to know her. it was also great to see dean for the first time in six months, not to mention getting to spend time with m&m and their cats. i do love their cats. there are some photos here, if you’re interested.
so, in the aftermath of my friday night date, writing the entry, talking it through with colene and reading everyone’s comments, i’m still not upset about the whole thing. it was just far too surreal to even believe it actually happened. that being said, where there is no rage, there is some serious self-confidence deflating going on with me when i stop for long enough to actually think about it. if this guy, who really isn’t all that or a bag of chips, could basically say “i like you, but call me when you’re skinny” what is my hope of finding a guy who is all that who’ll accept me as-is?
yes, i know. it’s not MY problem, it’s HIS. i get it and i’m trying really hard to get my internal nay-sayers to realize that, but they’re tenacious little fuckers and have had free run of my head and heart for a very long time. they know all the shortcuts and hideyholes. i might need the orkin man to help flush them out.
anyway, i’d say that overall it’s been a very interesting weekend and i can guarantee you it will be an equally interesting week. oh, by the way, expect evening posts.
i wish i could say something that wasn’t a complete cliché, but this happens to be true :
you’ll find him the moment that you stop looking.
i used to hate it when people said that to me. it sounded like they were telling me to give up on love in the hopes of finding it, but it doesn’t have to be that extreme.
anyway. that’s my contribution.
I found the love of my life when I totally wasn’t ready for him. And when I could stand to lose a few pounds (and still can). And he *is* all that…and more. You’ll find him, he’s out there. Trust me.
you said: “if this guy, who really isn’t all that or a bag of chips, could basically say “i like you, but call me when you’re skinny” what is my hope of finding a guy who is all that who’ll accept me as-is?” – think of it this way: the guy was not anywhere near close to being all that or a bag of chips, which was further proven by his utter classlessness and lack of respect when he said, “i like you, but call me when you’re skinny.”
There is a reason why he is a jerk. Thankfully you don’t have to deal with him anymore.
Some people say that people are attracted to other people who seem happy and confident. Maybe some “me” time is in order to find the happiness in being single and free.
single and free is good :) funny thing is I too have found the cliche to be true. You always wind up “finding” someone when you stop looking. dunno why that is…