it’s all just too much

i think there’s a finite amount of pain a single person can handle before they just… snap.
and i’m feeling pretty snappish today.
the knee borked, then i got the hematoma, then i had that crazy awful migraine, then i wore different shoes and my foot rebelled, then that other thing happened, then there were cramps. it seems like there hasn’t been a day in the last month that i haven’t had some sort of pain zapping my energy and clouding my soul.
i try to sleep, but i wake up two hours after i’ve laid down, then again every hour after that. when my alarm starts bleating at five-thirty, i’m exhausted from trying to get back to sleep all night. i’ve stopped eating sugar. i’m eating oatmeal and salads and smoothies, but i guess i’m not giving my body the fuel it needs to repair itself. what else could it be?
i’ve been obsessed with how i’m going to manage post-op if/when i get my knee repaired. the very steep stairs won’t be conducive to crutches. christopher doesn’t drive, so how will i get to my doctor and physio appointments without being a burden to anyone or incurring giant taxi bills? i could go to the island, but then how do i see my doctor for follow ups?
MEH!
i know this too shall pass. it’s not nearly so dire for me as it is for so many people today. i just feel it all today, every single bit of it and my camel’s back is creaking loudly.