medicine makes for good stories

ugh, sorry about that.  i totally blew off posting last week.  in my defense, nothing really happened until the end of the week and then it all kind of happened at once and i ran out of time.  forgive me?
so, yeah. last week’s three big ticket items were:  migraine, VQ lung scan at the hospital and catching a cold.
oh, and some kind of sporting event is happening somewhere near my house. um, what’s it called?  superbowl?  no, that’s not right.  uh, commonwealth games?  no, that’s not it, either.  olyphant?  olympics!  that’s it!  the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.  yeah!
i’m so funny.
first things first,  i had my final (i hope) diagnostic test related to my pulmonary embolism on Friday morning.  i wandered over to the hospital (it’s nice that it’s half a block from my apartment, sometimes) ridiculously early to get a pre-scan x-ray, only to discover that all the x-ray techs were in a staff meeting until 9am, which meant i had an hour or so to wait until my ventilation/perfusion scan in the nuclear medicine department.  ugh.
turns out that nuclear medicine is the happiest department at Lions Gate Hospital.  they were all decked out in red and maple leaves were all over the place.  they were all excited for the start of the games and were chatty and hilarious.  i guess they took pity on me, or were just in THAT good a mood, as i got ushered in for my test a little early.  yay!
see, what you need to know about me is that i want to know everything which is going on at all times.  i’m just nosy that way.  so, when i’m in a situation where i don’t know the procedure, i ask. this whole lung scan was all new, but i didn’t have to ask because my tech/nurse, Rhonda, explained everything. in excruciating detail. that was nice, but a little excessive.  and this is coming from me, so you just know it was crazy detailed.
first, i had my nose clamped shut and a tube stuck in my mouth so i could inhale radioactive fog.  no, really.  they even used a mini-geigercounter on my chest to see if i’d sucked in enough nuclear particles for the machine to detect.  after two rounds of what i can only assume is very close to scuba diving above water, i wandered over to a big machine i got to lie down in for the next twenty minutes while it detected where the radioactive fog got to in my lungs (this was the ventilation portion of the test).  next, i had TWO nurses/techs both trying to find a vein to shoot me up with more radioactive juice to perform the second portion of the test (perfusion) — oh me and my tiny, invisible veins of death.  this would detect where the blood flow in my lungs was going and if there were any blockages (which is what we’re mostly concerned with in my case since there was a BIG CLOT in one of my blood vessels in my lung, duh).  after finally giving me my injection and lying on the table for another twenty minutes of having pictures of my chest taken and making the staff laugh and say things like “i think i like her!” i got to mosey on over to x-ray for even more radiation.
unfortunately, when my hematologist sent in the request for my lung scan, she didn’t specifically ask for the x-ray they need to go with it.  consequently, i got to sit around for almost an hour waiting for someone to sign some sort of paper so i could have what turned out to be a 35-second chest x-ray.  i’m not kidding.  from the time i walked into the room to the time i walked out was way less than a minute.  it took longer to take my shirt and bra off than it did to get the x-rays done.  crazy.
by the way, i’m STILL waiting for my superpowers to manifest from all that nuking i got.  i’m really hoping for either invisibility or translocation.
pretty much the rest of the last week has been dealing with this annoying cold i probably picked up at the clinic last week when i went to get more rat poison.  the cold which made me miss both the Wilco and Hawksley Workman free concerts.  the one which has made me seriously consider surgically removing both my throat and sinuses.  stupid cold.  but, hey, at least i’ve been amusing myself by singing “i got the mucus in me” whenever i’m not coughing or blowing my nose.
last night, i got a phone call from my cousin.  this is noteworthy for two reasons:  1)  Christopher and my parents are the only people who ever phone me; and, 2) i haven’t talked to him since, oh, 2003 when i was in Ontario for my other cousin’s wedding.  turns out he’s working at the Richmond O Zone doing security and, since he lives in Kelowna, he’d been staying at his company’s accommodation in Burnaby.  unfortunately, he described the conditions there as “post-earthquake Haiti” and pulled the family card to ask me if he could stay with me until the end of this gig.  seeing as he’s my baby cousin (on my mom’s side) and i’m a sucker, i said sure.  so, as of tonight, my cousin Robert will be sleeping on an air mattress in my living room until the end of the month.  
he’s working nights, so i probably won’t see much of him during the week and, if i’m honest, the chance to reconnect (and collect points redeemable for a place to stay in Kelowna) is entirely worth any potential discomfort.  he’s a hoot and we’ve always gotten along well;  you know the less than a dozen times we’ve been together in our entire lives.  ;)
oh god, what have i gotten myself into?
just one more thing of note:   as i did last year, i am again giving up all forms of refined sugar and artificial sweeteners for Lent.  i’m only allowed stevia in my coffee and a little bit of maple syrup on my oatmeal.   i may not be doing it for religious reasons, but i do find something a little satisfying in challenging myself to go without for such a well-defined period of time.  let’s see how long it takes me to go cake-crazy like i did last year.  place your bets!