psst… hey, buddy.

by

– what?
c’mere… i got sumpthin’ ta show ya.
– i’m in a hurry, what is it?
no. no. no. ya jus’ gotta see this! it’ll only take a sec.
– *sigh* fine. but if i’m late, i’ll kick your ass.
ya won’t be late, buddy. trus’ me, an’ it’d be worth it if ya were.
– *leans in* i don’t see anything.
yer not lookin’ in the right spot. look ‘ere.
– i still don’… jesus christ, man. what the hell is that?!
*grinning* i tol’ ya it was worth it!
– but… how in god’s name?! where did you find it? *reaches out*
no! there’ll be touching it, buddy. ’tis for lookin’ at only.
– i think it’s almost beautiful…
of course it’s beautiful, buddy. i wouldn’ta brought it to ya if it weren’t. i know ya like them pretty things.
– please, just let me touch it… just once.
can touch it forever if ya want, buddy. ya just gotta give me a little sumpthin’. ya can do that for li’l ole me, can’t ya, buddy? just a little sumpthin’, ’tis all. nothin’ ta a bigwig like ya. nothin’ at all.
– whatever you want, it’s yours. just let me hold it. please!
don’t be cryin’, buddy. it doesn’t become ya. here, lemme fish out that paper the man gave me… here ’tis. he said “jus’ get ’em to sign on the dotted line,” he did. “use this pen, an’ only this pen.”
– *transfixed and shaking slightly* please, just let me touch it…
buddy. take this pen, buddy. we’re almos’ there, buddy. jus’ sign right ‘ere on that li’l line an’ it’ll be all yers an’ i can get back to real business.
– *bead of sweat falls onto the paper* sign… i can sign… dear god, it’s so beautiful! *scribbles illegibly*
tha’s it, buddy! right ‘ere… there ya go, tha’s the way. done! lemme jus’ put this away safe. hold on, don’t ya be grabbin’ now. tha’s jus’ plain rude, that is. ‘ere ya go… now, be gentle with it. don’t go ruinin’ it on yer first day.
– oohhh… god! yessss…..
*hobbling away* tsk, them cityslickers. always think it’s so durn beautiful. don’t know the devil when he’s kissin’ their sister, they don’t. serves ’em right… s’not my fault they’re so stupid. not my fault at all.

Posted in: words

16 Thoughts on “psst… hey, buddy.”

  1. Fizzgig on March 13, 2001 at 15:34 said:

    Thats fuckin ‘eh :)

  2. dangerman on March 13, 2001 at 16:56 said:

    Is anyone else arroused?

  3. paige on March 13, 2001 at 19:28 said:

    btw, heather, that was really good.

  4. heather on March 13, 2001 at 20:04 said:

    thanks, paige. =)
    do me a favour and keep dangerman far, far, far away from me?

  5. dangerman on March 13, 2001 at 21:05 said:

    pfffbt!
    ;b

  6. paige on March 14, 2001 at 04:38 said:

    well, i would, but it would appear that his hand is firmly grabbing your rear end- at least on my page.

  7. heather on March 14, 2001 at 05:53 said:

    *blink*

  8. dangerman on March 14, 2001 at 06:01 said:

    *blink blink*

  9. heather on March 14, 2001 at 07:10 said:

    ooh, you’re so adorable when you batt your eyes at me, d-man.

  10. paige on March 14, 2001 at 07:35 said:

    he’s such a flirt.

  11. Goddess on March 14, 2001 at 09:09 said:

    Cool man!

  12. scott on March 14, 2001 at 11:00 said:

    *sniff*
    i thought i was the only d-man in your life heather…
    *sniff*
    i guess i was wrong….
    *sulk*

  13. paige on March 14, 2001 at 11:21 said:

    uh-oh, heather, you did it now….

  14. heather on March 14, 2001 at 11:46 said:

    uh, you’re scott.
    he’s d-man, and only because i don’t have the patience to type out “dangerman” every time i want to talk about him. it was very inconsiderate of him to have such a long pseudonym, don’t you think?

  15. scott on March 14, 2001 at 13:27 said:

    okay… i’ll live with that.

  16. dangerman on March 15, 2001 at 10:16 said:

    she can’t type out “dangerman” but she can type “pseudonym”

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