as you can see by the boobs and the posting i am not yet dead. actually, for the past week and a half (or so), i’ve been feeling almost entirely alive, which is a pretty good feeling let me tell you.
as you could tell from my last post, things were Not Good during the month of September. the surgery, the complications, the hospitalization, the embolism, the illness, the anxiety, the panic attacks, the ER visits, the paramedics, the blood tests, the hospital hair, the doctor visits and the fear all served to make 09/09 the Month Of Suck. seriously. actually, what’s more serious than seriously? that’s what it was. seriousliest!
in addition to all the shit i was going through, Christopher was rear-ended while riding in his dad’s car as has been suffering from a fairly dire case of whiplash. then the transmission in my dad’s car blew up so even he was unable to attend to my every whim and desire as he said he would. my men-folk just couldn’t come to my aid! good thing i wasn’t having fainting spells (well, except for that one time at the farmer’s market).
now, it’s been six-and-a-half weeks since i’ve been off work and tomorrow is the Big Day. i’ve set the alarms for 5:50 and 6:10 am. i’m making lunches and doing laundry. i sent my mom home to Parksville and will soon dismiss Christopher from my presence so i can spend the evening in quiet contemplation and sobbing as i prepare to go back to my day job.
i didn’t get a single thing done i meant to while i was off work. not. one. i didn’t even get to finish watching season 3 of Buffy! yeah, yeah, i know i should cut myself some slack. i did almost die, after all. but, still. the control freak hyper organizer in me is severely disappointed in my lack of performance. and, now that i’m feeling so much more human than last month, it’s hard to give myself a pass because i didn’t for so long.
so, now that my life is returning to it’s Monday-Friday drudgery, i just don’t know what to think. again, i feel as if i should be changing myself in some way as a result of my recent experiences, but the fear is still strong and it’s hard to figure out a direction to go in when you’re scared to push yourself too far.
i do have plans, but they’re all dependent on how i survive the next three days back in the Real World. i may be pushing it a little with a work party tomorrow night and a physio appointment the next, but hey… what’s better than just diving head-first into shallow water? i just hope my boss is receptive to a plea to change my work hours. if nothing else, this time off has cemented the knowledge that my body and brain do not like getting up at 5:30am. i hope to adjust my schedule to that of normal working people which means i might just get to sleep until 7am. on a work day! can you even imagine the decadence?
okay, gotta go make my lunch now. oy.
holy crap, i’ve been putting shit up on the internet for NINE YEARS. what the fuck was i thinking when i started this?
oh, right. i wasn’t:
anyhoo, this is the first of what will probably be at least three entries i’ll make. who knows, it may not even go the way of my other attempts to journal and will evolve into some really weird, yet compelling, place to be.
happy birthday little weblog! you’re my longest relationship, ever. *smooch*
everything seems to be about the food with me lately.
there is, of course, the sugar obsession (which ends next week! bring on the cake!). the fancy (for me) appies i made for the ladies last Saturday. then all that yummy sushi at the end of last week. the overwhelming craving for steak (which was answered magnificently by the buttery-textured filet mignon i treated myself to at The Keg Friday night). the wheat-free Saturday i subjected Christopher to. the new rice cooker i never would have bought myself, followed by my first-ever foray into Indian cooking: dal palak.
i’m right now staring at a recipe for stuffed tomatoes and dreaming of the farmer’s market next week (not to mention that aforementioned cake – cake party, anyone?).
i had to clean out the fridge this morning, which sucks. they should really let you buy a few sprigs of an herb instead of a huge bunch. it’s such a waste.
anyway, enough wasting the day inside. there’s film in the camera and sun in the sky. yay spring!
dammit, just as i was trying to get new message opened up in gmail so i could write down this awesome and witty idea i had for a post, i got bombarded by interruptions. what i’m left with is an unsatisfying creative itch i can’t scratch. grr.
so, i’ll just haircut blog about my mini-vacation instead:
– dropped car off at mechanic, ate butter chicken with boyfriend.
– took ferry to Nanaimo, paid $1.49 for a banana.
– drove to Victoria with mom, wasn’t allowed to go to yard sales on the way.
– ate junk, watched tv, tried to entice cats to sit on my lap. repeat for three days.
– went shopping, bought new good jeans (as opposed to my new crappy jeans).
– drove to sooke, visited with the lovely Mrs. Nixon, petted Piper, ate fish’n’chips
– unsuccessfully stalked Jim, got chatted up by an 80 year old motor head.
– took ferry to Tswwassen, got picked up by Colene the awesome.
– slept in own bed (bliss), bathed with bubbles, picked up car, went to Walmart, ate a Fat Burger.
all in all, it was a very restful and relaxing five day vacation. i’m not big on the travelling part of travel, but i usually do enjoy myself once i’ve arrived.
i’ve been officially sanctioned by my departmental manager to sabotage the office of our returning supervisor (yes, the one who left two months ago — causing me to cry like a baby). the instruction was to do anything which would “take a long time to clean up”.
so… this is where i entreat you, my faithful readers, to help me exact our revenge. i’m thinking vaseline on the door handles, shredded paper in the drawers, dozens of balloons all over the floor.
what would you do if you could do anything to someone’s office… without getting in trouble for it?
sometimes, i just get tired of sharing the planet with other people.
– i’m not hobbling nearly so badly *crosses fingers*
– think i’ve caught the plague i’d deftly avoided so far
– visited with friendly neighbour cat this morning in the snow
– really have to get a fuzzy rug for the livingroom
– spending far too much time looking at yummy knitting patterns
well, that didn’t take long at all.
i was feeling a lot better with my crazy, sweaty cardio workouts where i turned a lovely shade of purple and was panting like a sheepdog in the sahara. i was accomplishing more reps with weights and getting a little stretchier each day.
now i’m limping.
yeah, sometime between the elliptical and the bike last night, something snapped in my left heel and i’m hobbled like james caan. bleh. i really hoped that a good night’s sleep would find me prancing around my apartment this morning, but it wasn’t to be. i’m gimpy spice for the time being and it sucks!
i don’t know what i’m going to do for cardio tomorrow night. i hate hate hate the bike and we have plans afterwards, so i’m not going to swim and get all wet and chlorine-y. this is the suck.
anybody have a left foot i can borrow three nights a week?
hopefully, you’ll be able to see this. if not, it means imified isn’t as good as i hoped it would be.
anyway, i’m beyond grateful i only have to work until 11:30 today and my departure is immediately followed by pho and a little bit of shopping (even if it is for safety footwear for work).
after that… i think i’ll go fall down and pass out for a while. celebrity fit club kicked my ass last night. it was probably made worse because i skipped tuesday due to snow/commuting issues. ugh. my ass, my thighs, my knees… the pain!!
meh, it’s not so bad. it’s a good hurt, right?
i seem to have lost a couple of days.
between getting sick and leaving work early on friday, the long and busy running around day on saturday, the sleeping like i’d never sleep again on sunday and the slow, methodical recuperation yesterday, i find myself kind of unsure what day it actually is. staying home from work yesterday didn’t help (and, i realized on the way into work this morning, that because of staying home i will have avoided working on a monday for three weeks in a row as of next week — score). i know it’s tuesday, but it feels a little like both monday and wednesday for some strange reason. so weird.
but, really, i know you’re just here for a recap of my wild and fantabulous weekend, so here we go…
friday, i begged off work early after promising my boss i’d make up the hour with a couple early starts this week (which is why i started at the ungodly hour of 7am today). i went home and pretty sure i was in for a nice, quiet night in my pajamas feeling sorry for myself, but jen & christopher would have none of that. they phoned from somewhere downtown and, since i was in no shape to make any decisions, they told me they were coming over. we had pizza & beer, watched the oddest double-feature ever and by the time they left i was feeling a lot less miserable than when they showed up.
saturday, i was up early doing stuff around the house and out the door by 11am to go pickup dad for our lunch and then a trip to the airport so he could depart on his european adventure. luckily, we left lots of time for our meal at Red Robin because the service was sucking ass (what the hell is with me and my run on crappy service lately? sheesh). then, just as we were ready to leave, i looked over and saw dante at a table across the room. talk about unexpected. i don’t think he saw me, which doesn’t really matter either way, though. after dropping off dad at YVR, i drove out to christopher’s to pick him up. we went back to my place to chill for a while before we had to take off to meet josh, jamie and jen at Burgoo for dinner. jen & i both wore our new shoes (hers being much more girly than mine, but probably much more painful) and both ate way too much food. i couldn’t taste much more than the high flavour notes, but it all went down. including the chocolate fondue for dessert. mm, fondue.
after dinner, we packed ourselves into vehicles and headed off to West Vancouver to take in darren barefoot’s play ‘Bolloxed’. i hadn’t read the writing/rehearsing blog, so i didn’t know beforehand it was a two-person play. it made no difference that it was, it just surprised me a little, i think. not so much to distract from the humour and sweetness of it, though. i thoroughly enjoyed it and laughed a lot (so much so in some places christopher swatted my arm to shush me). i just have one lingering question… who the hell was Aoife talking to in Marion Square? a statue? an actual person? an imaginary person?
due to logistic considerations, the J’s left to go home across the harbour straight from the theatre leaving chris & i to go back to my place for a bit of a chill-down. i was starting to feel really crappy and i just wanted to cuddle up on the couch for a while. chris left to go home rather early and i went straight to bed…
…and slept until almost 3pm sunday afternoon. of course, i’d gotten up for a couple hours in the morning, but i was having hot & cold spells and was feeling like utter ass, so i thought it best to stay in bed as long as possible. christopher called some time around noon to see how i was. he said i sounded horrible. i’m still not quite sure why he decided to risk more exposure to the germs, but he came over and spent the rest of the day with me: watching movies, fetching dinner from the indian place, bringing me tea and, generally, being the sweetest boyfriend ever. sometime around nine-thirty, he kissed me on the forehead and sent me to bed before heading home.
when my alarm went off yesterday morning, i thought it was a cruel joke. seriously, my throat was so dry and closed up any attempt i made at speaking made it sound like i was a dying toad going through peter brady puberty. i tried to get up, but my head was so sore and my nose was producing vile-looking substances, so i called my boss’ voicemail, croaked him a message and promptly went back to sleep for four more hours. when i got up, i had a long, hot shower (hoping that being clean again might restore some semblance of wellness) and started drinking the three million cups of tea i’d consume that day. everything i did was in slow motion because if i went too fast, i’d get flushed and feel like falling over. i cleaned up the kitchen and washed my sick-bedding. i even managed to scan and post photos, which, like, never, happens. i mentioned i was almost out of tea and christopher again won the Super-Awesomest Boyfriend Ever trophy by offering to go to Lonsdale Quay, buy me some and bring it over.
after chris arrived with tea, and a comment that i looked a lot better than the day before, we watched a movie and then went for a short walk to the postal outlet so i could pick up a package (i’m still annoyed — i was home all day, the postman didn’t even buzz). it was nice to get out of the house for the first time in two days, but i was sure glad to get back inside where my fuzzy clothes were. the rest of the evening was quiet and relaxing: watching another movie and eating indian leftovers for dinner. again, around nine-thirty, he kissed me on the forehead and sent me to bed.
i’m feeling much improved today. i don’t sound quite 100%, but at least i don’t feel too much like dying.
i really should have known better than to wear white on a day i was having red for lunch.