friday was a very bad day for me. i wasn’t looking forward to going to the island. i wasn’t looking forward to going out like i had plans to do. around two o’clock in the afternoon, the biggest, blackest, most self-loathing mood settled into me and all i wanted to do was hide in a corner and feel so fucking sorry for myself.
instead, i picked up christopher after work and we went out to dinner and marpole with jen and her friends from edmonton. about the time we were in the PT Cruiser heading south with no hope for escape, i started to forget just how awful i’d been feeling about myself. it’s interesting to me how just distracting myself so i don’t have time to think about my misery is enough to alleviate it. maybe the reasons for the mood aren’t gone, but there’s no time for wallowing, and sometimes that’s enough. having someone so supportive as chris right there with hugs and concern doesn’t hurt, either.
the island trip was good enough. mom likes it when i come over. i took some photos, found my very own Vivtar Ultra Wide & Slim camera at the thrift shop (for 99 cents!), watched a bunch of dvds and came home monday before the big ferry rush. i don’t think i’m due for another trip over until late september for mom’s birthday in victoria. the tourists should all be back home by then, i hope.
with yesterday off work, i spent the morning getting my house in order for the week. if all goes well, i won’t have to cook, clean or do laundry until sunday next. that should leave lots of time for scanning the zillions of negatives which need digitizing, but i’ll probably just spend all my time being a bum or hanging out with chris. maybe i should spend it trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life. regardless, whatever i do this week has to be cheap, i seem to have spent all my money somehow. must have been that 99-cent camera.

2 Thoughts on “the highs, the lows

  1. Here’s to feeling (even a little bit) better. Sometimes, as you say, just getting away from those feelings helps you get the stability you need to take things on.

  2. the tourists don’t disappear from victoria until the third week of october. sorry.

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