hey!  it’s a new year!  how crazy is that?
 
so, 2009… seems like it’s been gone a while, but i think we’re all feeling its effects still.  some of us more than others, i s’poze. 
 
my 2009 was chock-full of excitement and intrigue! 
 
i made new friends.  i ate new foods.  i gave away my blood, twice.  i spent a lot of time limping.  i reduced my stinky debt and increased my awesome savings.  i gave up sugar for Lent and survived.  i almost got run off the road.  i fought the germs and won.  i went to my step-mother’s funeral.  i got a new mattress.  i had a birthday party.  i developed an anxiety disorder and started taking drugs.  i grew tomatoes and herbs on my balcony.  i bought a tivo.  i went swimming.  i had surgery.  i developed a life-threatening complication.  i rode in an ambulance.  i ate hospital food.  i started taking rat poison.  i thought about selling my car.  i bought bras which actually fit.  i blogged for a whole month straight.  i sold stuff at two craft fairs.  i got my hair cut shorter than ever.  i went to parties.  i bought an iphone.  i had countless needles stuck in me for both the taking and removing of liquids.  
 
i actually had to go back to reference material to remember anything which happened before august.  the whole pulmonary embolism thing has somehow managed to erase my memory of the first half of the year.  maybe i did have some oxygen deprivation?   thank god for my blog, i say.  thank god!
 
for 2010, i’ve decided that instead of resolutions, i have a short list of things i want to accomplish.  they are listed here thusly:
 
– go to a long table dinner at the irish heather
– go back to the symphony because it is awesome and i get to wear a dress
– fully experience the 2010 winter olympics since they’re right in my back yard
– have a regularly-scheduled dinner date with my dad every month
– see my mom at least every other month
– not let a month go by without spending time with my friends
– give blood as soon as i’m able, and every 56 days thereafter
– cook something new each week
– work harder
– continue the accelerated progress at debt-elimination and savings-expansion
– treat my body like it’s the only one i’ve got
– sleep 8-9 hours every night
– have more fun
– go outside
– continue to reduce the amount of “stuff” in my life
– call the counsellor
– make things more often
– blog at least once a week
 
okay, maybe it’s not so short, but a lot of them are “set up once, keep it going” type things.   that last one will probably be my hardest to keep, but who knows.  maybe if i think of posting as making something/creative outlet you’ll get more to read.  we’ll see.  time slips by so quickly… 
 
i certainly don’t want myself or anyone i love to spend any more time in hospitals, get into car accidents, lose their jobs, lose their pets, bury a family member or move away.   2009 had way too much of all of those yucky things for far too many people i know and care much for.  
 
i’d like to say i’m feeling optimistic about 2010, but i said that about 2009 and look how that turned out.  instead, i’ll say i’m going to attempt to take each day and each event as it comes and do my best to handle them all with grace.

i'm flipping out!

so, i got my hair cut.
i’m not sure why, but ever since chopping off 14 inches of hair to donate to Locks of Love, every time i go in for a cut, i leave the salon with shorter and shorter hair. at this rate, i’ll be sporting a Demi Moore circa GI Jane buzz cut in less than 18 months.
what’s neat about this cut (and probably the last, but i was clueless) is that i now have a flippy-do option (as pictured) in addition to the regular, everyday scrunchy-do i normally sport. now, if there’s a big occasion or i’m just feeling a little sassy, i can break out the big-barreled curling iron and make my hair defy gravity! it’s very exciting. i’m a fairly low-maintenance kind of female, so anything involving implements of beauty torture both intimidate and thill me.
in other news, i just can’t wait for 2009 to be over. there’s been so much yucky all over the place, 2010 has GOT to be an improvement. right? besides all the health drama and money drama, there have been deaths and heartbreak and work issues and just a general sense of “fuck, this sucks” pervading most of the lives of people i know and love this last year. too many hospitals, too many bills, too many angsty conversations which go nowhere and only end in tears. in addition, all the awesome Christmas things i look forward to every year at the office just aren’t happening because of tensions i cannot speak of. it’s made me want to just skip this month entirely!
alas, there is no skipping. so, i’m hunkering down and trying to make the best of it. there have been parties and brunch (my two new favourite things) and home improvements and iphone debating to keep my mind off all the badness. i seem to have inherited an ice cream maker to replace the inherited waffle iron, so maybe i’ll just drown my winter sorrows in homemade creamy goodness. or, maybe i should finish Christopher’s scarf already.
p.s. remind me to tell you about how awesome it is to have finally found a bra which fits. my boobs look awesome now.

1. Where is your cell phone? bag
2. Your significant other? christopher
3. Your hair? product-ed
4. Your mother? awesome
5. Your father? reliable
6. Your favorite thing? comfort
7. Your dream last night? engrossing
8. Your favorite drink? coffee
9. Your dream/goal? retirement
10. The room you’re in? office
11. Your hobby? cleaning
12. Your fear? embolism
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? retired
14. What you’re not? content
15. Muffins? blueberry
16. One of your wish list items? car
17. Where you grew up? hometown
18. The last thing you did? lunch
19. What are you wearing? jeans
20. Favorite gadget? touch
21. Your pets? dead
22. Your computer? old
23. Your mood? optimistic
24. Missing someone? lots
25. Your car? broken
26. Something you’re not wearing? earrings
27. Favorite store? online
28. Like someone? intensely
29. Your favorite color? blue
30. When is the last time you laughed? morning
31. Last time you cried? saturday
[lovingly stolen from brigette – thanks!]

that was pretty darn good weekend. lots of peoples, lots of fun, lots of work done and fun had and food ate. i even finished reading the new Wheel of Time book!
my iPhone lust is fading, thank god. but, i still think i’d be a fool to pass up the crazy deal i was made aware of. i know i’d love it and use it all the freaking time but… a three-year contract? that’s a lot of commitment. i just don’t know if i could handle that. and it’s Telus and everyone knows Telus is the devil, right? mrrf. too much thinking!
ugh, i really shouldn’t post when i’m this sleepy. zzz.

after spending all day obsessing over how i could manage to afford an iPhone, or not, all day, back and forth, Christopher put it into perspective for me on the car ride home:
me: oh, fuck it. i should just go buy a cat.
him: there’s probably an app for that.
so, yeah. $44.80 each month is standing between me and some iPhone-y goodness. it wouldn’t compromise any of my current financial goals (accelerated debt repayment, emergency fund padding, car repair/replacement saving), but it would cut into that nice little “extra” i have after paying the bills and putting money away each month. you know, the buffer which gets used for gifts, clothes, emergency pizza delivery.
it’s not a hardship, but i still find myself balking. i have a perfectly working cell phone (if you don’t count it’s complete and utter crapness at texting) and a super magnificent iPod Touch which isn’t even six months old yet. but… constant access to the internets. oh, data, you seductive temptress. that’s why i’d get the iPhone. data.
the cheapest Telus plan, with the unlimited texting and caller ID add-on would cost me just $44.80 more than i currently budget for my pay-as-you-go Virgin phone. it would give me twice as many minutes as i would ever think of using and 500mb of sweet, sweet data (which, by all reports would be entirely suitable for my level of usage).
i think it’s just the concept of paying over SEVENTY DOLLARS a month for a portable phone device. it seems so… excessive.
anyway, i just can’t seem to decide, so i’m not. i know, you guys choose for me! i know you’ll come up with the right decision! go forth and comment your choice!
update:
my friend Colene showed me a way to get the iPhone for less than half the regular price AND save on my plan to get it under that onerous $70 monthly total (not by much, but it’s all psychological anyway). now my choice is just that much harder! ARGH!

my new curtains (in ivory) are up. i think they’re too much like the colour of my walls. when the other new curtains arrive (in raindrop), they’ll probably be much more to my liking.
i get my bonus tomorrow. unfortunately, i’ve already used some of it to buy american underpants and the aforementioned curtains. fortunately, there’s still enough left for new nikes. and maybe even a nike+ to put in them.
my new hematologist is awesome. she’s letting me continue taking rat poison for the whole six months just to keep me from freaking out. and she’s ordered fancy scans of my lungs. i think i love her, even though she’s way too skinny. bag of hangers skinny.
chez hessie has been officially reclaimed. i scrubbed down the bathroom last night. the bathtub hadn’t been cleaned since before my surgery. that was one icky tub. what’s almost as exciting as the clean abode: i can kneel! it’s been a long time since i could do that.
it’s a party weekend. birthdays and brunch and many people all over the place. and i’m not even dreading any of it! how novel.
my co-worker bought an iphone last weekend. i want an iphone so much. if i never wanted to have enough money to buy new clothes or birthday gifts or pizza, i could totally go get one. but, i kind of like to not be naked, appreciate my friends and melted cheese. therefore, i will continue to lust from afar.

when my INR drops below 2.5 i get anxious and stressed out. last night, it was 1.6.
i’m going to bed so i don’t have to think about it anymore tonight.

alive, but barely. sales were better than expected, but not quite what i’d hoped. brigette & markus were my visitors today. big-sale lady from yesterday forgot to pay for her stuff at the communal till before leaving last night, but called today to get my address to send me a cheque. we’ll see if that happens.
very tired and feeling kind of sad because my oldest and best friend is suffering something which might not ever go away. it breaks my heart to see her and know just how much it kills her to not be able to do the things she wants to. but, i do what i can, like giving her my old mp3 player filled with all the music we listened to in our youth for her birthday this coming thursday. it’s very near the least i can do, but i know she’ll appreciate it almost as much as the biggest gesture i could muster.
i couldn’t do this craft fair thing every weekend. i have to go back to the office tomorrow feeling like i haven’t had a single day off. ugh.

all a big set-up

after a very slow and worrisome start, i ended day one with many small sales and one HUGEMONGOUS one. seriously, i didn’t think that one lady was going to buy SIX magnet sets and TWO pendants and THREE more magnets! that was almost a hundred-dollar sale! holy crap!
there was fairly steady traffic all day, which was good. my table-partner, and co-worker Sandy, got the first sale, but until near the end, i got most of the rest. Nelson came to visit while Jana was at a baby shower semi-nearby. a couple co-workers came to visit, as well. and, we made friends with most every other vendor who kept us company in the basement room of the Urban Academy. right next to us was actually one of the teachers, which explains why so very many people coming by knew her name.
interestingly, people seem to really like looking at my photo cards, but aren’t so very interested in buying them. nor is there much interest in the pendants or rings. magnet sets are selling well and, after a slow start, so are magnet monograms and singles.
i supported my fellow crafters by buying a cat-shaped spoon rest and a cat-eared/devil-horned sparkly toque (it’s pretty fucking fantastic, actually). i’m sure i’ll spend more of my profits there tomorrow. especially on those extra-chewy homemade chocolate chip cookies. yum.
now, i’m home after finally getting to go out for sushi with Christopher after we closed up shop for the day. i’ve counted my money and now, i think i’m going to lie down on the floor for a while and unkink my back.
i’m such a party animal.
p.s. if you’re not doing anything tomorrow, the craft fair is open for one more day! come see me from 10-5! i like visitors!

this is a list of all the things i think i should have accomplished lately but haven’t:
– cleaned my dad’s car windows while he was away
– vacuumed the crap off my floors
– washed my floors
– cleaned the bathtub
– called my cousin back
– returned that text message from Tyler
– used my Wii Fit (Plus)
– roasted the peppers which hopefully haven’t yet gone bad
– eaten those potatoes i baked
– cleaned the window tracks
– removed all the various gardening debris from the balcony
– fixed the bathroom drawer
– cleaned the kitchen light fixture
– called the super about getting my bathroom repaired
– gone for a walk
– posted better things more often
– called Meghan
– called Karen
– helped my uncle with his scanner
– called about counseling
– cleaned and purged my kitchen cupboards
– cleaned and purged my bookshelves
– cleaned and purged my storage closet
– cleaned out the bottom of the coat closet
– moved the cedar chest into the closet so i have room for a new dresser
– turned the mattress
– had the blinds washed
bought new curtains for the livingroom (i just ordered some in two colours to decide between)
– cleaned my car windows
– put up my craft crap on Etsy for sale
– all that shit at work i hate doing
– shaved my legs
– called for a hair appointment
– worn my brace
– found some way of keeping in better touch with Jeremy, Heather and Tyler
– lost weight
– ate more vegetables
– gotten over all the September trauma already

an army of birthday wishes

well, i’m all packed up for the big craft fair this weekend!
everything is in a big paper box or a lululemon tote bag (sorry, colene). at least i hope everything is. my worst fear is to get halfway through the day on saturday and realize that i’ve forgotten something vital.
SO SCARED!
anyway, set up is friday night and i have a serious question about craft show set up etiquette. is set up night just for putting up of racks and laying blankets on tables? or, does one set up all one’s stock as well? so you can just show up the next day and get to selling? i guess my partner and i will find out once we get there, but it all just seem so damn confusing!
oh, unless something miraculous happens, the fancy business cards i ordered won’t be ready in time for the show. fuck. instead, i whipped up something dodgy in Word and printed them on those fuzzy-edged laser printer cards — which is EXACTLY what i wanted to avoid in the first place. boo, hiss. although, how excellent is it that i’ll have 250 business cards and nowhere to use them!
anyway, yeah. i’m stressed out and quite frightened to be on the other side of the table at a craft fair. i’ve been a frequent visitor, but never a vendor. i don’t quite know if i’m up for it. that’s why i think y’all should come by to cheer me up!
Christmas Magic at the Manor
November 21 & 22, 2009 10 am to 5 pm
Urban Academy
101 Third Street, New Westminster, BC

i’m so annoyed!
i wrote this really adorable post using my ipod touch and the free wi-fi at the airport, but by the time i was finished one-finger-typing it all out, my session had ended, i had to relogin and the whole thing got erased.
i hate you free airport wi-fi! you are an evil succubus! promising awesome, but delivering suck.
boo.
anyway, it’s nasty out there! and, amazingly, my car actually started AND got me home after sitting at my dad’s house, unused, for the last two weeks. although, can i tell you? screw power locks and windows. i’d freaking kill for power steering. ow, my biceps.

eep. i was about three seconds away from missing two days in a row of posts. phew.
of course, it’s 10pm and i’m too tired for lots of words, so let’s boil it down to:
i’m done making things for the craft fair. everything is packaged, my display is almost entirely ready to go and i have lots and lots and lots of coins & small bills. the only thing i’m waiting on is my business cards. if they don’t show up by friday, i might have to bust a gut or something. why, oh why, do i procrastinate so?
anyhoo, i’m glad that’s done. now i just wait to see if the hundreds of dollars i’ve invested actually pay off and people buy my crap. please come buy my crap?
oh, that reminds me. i should get some candy for the table. people like free candy, right?
tomorrow night, i have to go to the airport to pick up my dad and relinquish the good car. he’s returning from his mediterranean cruise. i wonder if my car will even start after having been parked in his spot for the past two weeks. i guess i’ll find out tomorrow night!
okay, bedtime. sweet dreams!

thank goodness this weekend has felt like six days instead of just two. i’ve needed every second of it to Get Things Done. and, somehow, i’ve even managed to watch a movie (GI Joe — don’t judge), go shopping, see the inside of Kimli’s apartment, do a mountain of laundry, check my dad’s mail, phone my mom and cook food for the week in addition to all the cutting, glazing, gluing and packaging!
seriously, so busy.
so, because i haven’t done anything worth blogging about, you get this fairly awesome music video. i’ve never heard of Oren Lavie (and, honestly, i had the song playing really softly, so i don’t even know if i like him), but the video for his song “Her Morning Elegance” is pretty much fantastic. stop-motion always kind of puts me in awe. i just don’t think that creatively, i suppose.
enjoy!

my house is a mess, my kitchen is covered in dirty dishes, i’m smelly, exhausted and broke.
this is what it’s like when i procrastinate and have less than a week to produce enough crap craft to take to the craft fair to, hopefully, you know, sell.
i’ve mentioned it in passing, i think, but not in detail. after applying in May, my co-worker and i were finally informed of our acceptance into the Christmas Magic at the Manor two-day craft fair being held at the Urban Academy in New Westminster. unfortunately, they didn’t bother telling us until the very end of October. eep! so, instead of having months to spend preparing stock, we’ve had less than three weeks to prep everything for the fair NEXT WEEKEND.
and, of course, because i’m a lazy slacker, i wasted two weeks and decided six days would be more than enough to make over two hundred magnets, one hundred photo cards, fifty pendants and two dozen rings.
just kill me now, please.
anyway, if you’re not doing anything next weekend, feel free to stop by and say hi (and bring me food and/or beverages)!
Christmas Magic at the Manor
November 21 & 22, 2009 10 am to 5 pm
Urban Academy
101 Third Street, New Westminster, BC

after thoughtful consideration, i’ve decided i am no longer going to participate in my company’s United Way campaign.
i signed up just as soon as i got hired because i thought it was a great way to donate to charity without having to think about it. i tell them once a year to take X number of dollars off my paycheques and bam said the lady! charitable donation and tax deduction all in one, with little to no effort on my part.
as the years have ticked past, i’ve always made it a point to check the little box on the form which directed my measly contribution towards the area of need i feel most connected with: seniors. i’ve tried to ignore all those news reports about the money such big charities waste on salaries and advertising and kept my Pollyanna belief that it wasn’t my money being wasted. my money was helping elder citizens get out for a field trip or have a helping hand in their declining years.
well, it’s charity season at my workplace and when the form came around for filling out, there was no little check box. suddenly, my choice of where my money went was gone and i got a little upset. i didn’t like the feeling that my money was no longer ear-marked for what i believe in most. so, as of January 2010, i will no longer be donating, through automatic payroll deduction, to the United Way.
instead, i’m going to take the same amount of money each pay and have it get auto-magically sucked out of my bank account and into a TFSA at ING Direct where it will build up until, every year at this time, i will withdraw it and write a cheque to the charity(ies) of my choice. somehow, this makes me feel even better about donating and, while i know giving shouldn’t be about making me feel good, i don’t think it’s entirely bad if it does.

i’m currently shivering so much i’m having trouble typing. so, you get this:
hi! welcome to my token post to keep up with nablopomo.
why the hell did i ever agree to this thing?

hip to be square

this has been the weirdest 24 hours.
not the finding yet another co-worker who lives in North Van (which means yet another potential car-pooler). not the spending four hours sandwiched into the backseat of a Mazda to go buy underpants with Brigette, Miranda, Shan and Kimli (our superawesome chauffeur). not the finding comfortable bras which fit without accessories. not the eating the world’s second biggest burrito (the biggest being the one from Chipotle i ate while in Minnesota). not the going to bed at almost two in the morning on a Tuesday night. not the long, luxurious day at home in various states of undress playing with crafts and drinking hot, caffeinated beverages. not the crazy weather happening outside my window, complete with hail and monsoon-like rain storms. not the scalding shower i took just because i was chilly. not the phone call from my doctor’s office with my INR results. not the weird, yet fabulous, nap i had late in the afternoon.
just all of that mixed up together in the last day has made me feel… weird. it’s been inexplicably relaxing yet exciting. the adventure of crossing the border with the girls was just what i needed and i hope to do it with them again soon — just in a slightly bigger vehicle if at all possible. ;)
i’m glad that i’ve got new awesome american underpants and i’m glad i got a day to get some crafting done. i wish i’d managed to do the errands i had on my list, but there’s no reason they can’t be delayed a day or two. hell, i wish i’d cleaned my apartment and gotten more craftwork accomplished.
maybe that’s why the last day has felt so weird. i didn’t spend it worrying about getting all sorts of various shit accomplished. i just did what i was doing and let the rest go. once i got into Kimli’s car yesterday, i relinquished my ingrained need to Get Things Done. it was all up to her to get us to Bellingham and back; i was just along for the ride. i don’t often get to experience that now that i’m a grown-up with responsibilities and chores and bills and and and…
i could use that feeling a little more often.

i had promised myself that today i’d post something with actual content, but work was crazy and i spent the last eight hours buying american underpants, among other things. more to come, but now… now i need sleep.

i know this is a funky week what with the holiday right in the middle and all, but really? why was today all the very worst parts of the entire week rolled into one, giant, anxious, painful, busy, freak-out day?
ugh.
so, instead of coming home and being as productive as i’d hoped, i stopped to get stuck by the vampires (btw, i have a new favourite vamp. turns out they DO get better with age!), then came home to eat the leftover pizza, fall asleep on the couch and then have a bath.
really, that’s all i’ve done since i left work today.
wow, i bet you guys are SO GLAD i’m posting every day what with all this scintillating content, huh? hopefully, the car-full of hot chicks rushing the border for underpants and burritos tomorrow night will give me something worth writing about.