the neighbours with the squeaky dog toy sounding child moved from across the hall to an upstairs apartment (thankfully, not above me). i had a brief fling with thinking about flipping my life and living on the other side of the building. the pros & cons stacked up thusly:
pros
chance to start fresh
new paint
scrubbed from top to bottom
no stompy upstairs
none of stompy’s garden flotsam falling onto my balcony
building on that side is quieter, more mature
breezeway never used by loud people cutting through
excellent opportunity to really purge more stuff
re-arranging!
cons
all the address/utility changes just to change from #6 to #5
moving (ew)
costs (may be higher rent)
re-learning where everything is (it’s a mirror-image of my apartment)
upstairs mafia guy may be worse than stompy (hard to imagine, but possible)
might be hotter as it’s on side which gets direct sun most of the day
could have a worse bathroom/uglier kitchen/crappier doors & windows
but, really, i’m lazy and cheap, so i’m probably not going anywhere.
another thing i’m thinking about is London.
turns out there’s both an opportunity for free accommodation and a very cheap flight to England and i find myself seriously considering finally getting myself to Europe before i die. but, it’s still going to be many hundreds of dollars i find myself hesitant to divert from more responsible uses. i also have goals to get a new couch and i think i have a destination wedding i need to save up for. not to mention just saving for emergencies and avoiding the accumulation of any more debt (especially after having worked so hard to pay it all off last spring).
i got my first passport a dozen years ago just so i could go to England and it expired without a British stamp in it. how depressing.
of course, these two thinking things work against each other. if i move, i can’t afford to go to London. if i go to London, i can’t afford to move. hell, i if i go to London, i can’t afford to buy my new dream couch.
being a responsible adult fucking sucks. so does being broke (not poor, right Jen?).
i am so tired of everyone complaining about the weather.
i don’t know what it is about Vancouverites and their extremely short memories when it comes to sunshine. we can have two weeks of beautiful, warm, bright days, but as soon as there’s a solid bank of clouds overhead or a sprinkle or two, out comes the whining, moping and general shitheadedness.
hey, it’s not the end of the world! it’s water. in the sky or falling from it. you know, H2O? aqua? the stuff of life?
and, really, who the fuck cares if it’s shitty from 8-5 M-F? most of us can’t be out enjoying any “good” weather then anyway, what with our cube-lives requiring us to hide under fluorescent lights and breathing recycled air for five-sevenths of our days.
yesterday morning was dark and dreary; but, it was also hot and muggy — ew. then the clouds broke and it got gorgeous just in time for you all to leave your office-cells! how is that possibly something to complain about?
today, it’s raining; but, the sky is pretty bright and, c’mon! the sound of ALL THE RAIN EVER falling? such a fantastic sound to wake up to (after i forgot to set my alarm and Rose stuffed her furry face into mine to ensure i wasn’t late for all that fluorescent recycled air)! i wanted to be able to lay in bed longer just to listen to it.
would you rather have 36°C with a 45°C humidex like they’re getting in the rest of the continent? are you insane? that’s just stupid and untenable. i’ll take 25°C and partial-clouds any day of the week, thanks.
grr.
yesterday, i had surgery to remove my troublesome gallbladder.
today, i hoped my hockey team would finally bring home the Stanley Cup.
tonight, i’m listening to my city recreate its 1994 shame.
i guess i’ll just take some morphine, go to sleep and hope that the morning brings a lot less pain of all types.
as the cats race around the apartment in their daily burst of insanity, i’m sitting here quietly celebrating the first time i’ve been bank loan free in the last ~15 years. hell, it’s been so long, i can’t even remember when i first started building debt. it was probably 1990 when i filled out that credit card application i found at the Capilano College (now University) campus. oh, how i wish i could go back in time and rip that thing out of my hand…
in the the interest of full disclosure, yes, i still have a car loan. so, i do still owe a bank money; but, i consider that an expense since it’s a 0% loan and doesn’t exceed the amount i was paying just for repairs for the Golf.
with a lot of hard work and spreadsheet time, i’ve been on track to pay off the bank for the last couple of years. the purchase of my new car last year threw a bit of a wrench in the plans to be entirely debt-free by this coming summer; but, when i realized that i was literally throwing money away on endless repairs, taking a bit of a detour was worth the delay in debt-freedom. regardless, i did manage to, while making payments on my new car, pay off $13,000 owing to RBC in just 13 months!
i made a lot of sacrifices to get here and i have a fair bit of rebuilding to do before i’m back in what i’d consider a comfortable financial situation, but the psychological payoff is so very worth it.
i will never pay interest again!
pending BIG NEWS to be announced (hopefully) tomorrow, i bring you a list of awesome possible tweets thanks to the That Can Be My Next Tweet generator:
- I REALLY wanted umbrella when i let you hate FAT32?
- I could. can I might explain the mocking. my gallbladder is definitely sick.
- Huh? : – oh! what’s for taking him look bad. ; huh? : one will come complete the mocking.
- Busy reading Piers Anthony & zinc and have to acknowledge work emails which i write them ass bars.
- One will make funny faces when i have to arrive. hello inbox zero!
- Dinner when you’re late to see SuckerPunch. I got it isn’t TPass. – will come fast enough. really.
- I have things which felt weird. the Internet until Amy pushed her sister in, that was a flu, but I like!
- I’m thinking I never know that with five loads of the cattle prod charging all night!
- No coffee tastes gross. coconut flavour. – oh good. epic two-and-a-half-hour nap.
- I’m kinda glad I know, right?
- Current mood huh. sounds like they’re having another gall bladder attack or i hope it’s going out cats!
- Cats are confused. cats make you thought it both easy and confused. cats don’t bother. – nope!
- I’m giddy! really?
i realized yesterday that i have $2,000 sitting in a bank account. just sitting. it’s not retirement or car insurance savings. it’s just… saved. the me from 1995 is like “WTF? why aren’t you spending that shit and all the other credit on your cards?! we have trips to take and crap to buy!!” hell, the me from 2005 is wondering the same thing. oh, time. how she changes us.
i’m going through a really strong phase of wondering why the hell anyone likes me. seriously, i keep observing my interactions with people and just shaking my head in disbelief that they see anything interesting or attractive about my personality (we won’t even talk about my external parts right now). i haven’t had such a prolonged bought of the unworthies for a long time and i don’t like it much at all. btw, this isn’t a plea for reasons why i’m awesome (that’ll just make me feel less deserving of them = IRONY), it’s just a getting-it-out-there.
i’d love to stop talking about my cats now, but they’re so fucking awesome, how can i? my favourite Amy thing is when i get home from work and she jumps up on the bed to head-butt me until we’re both almost concussed. my favourite Rose thing is watching her tubby little tabby body play with her rattly mouse toy — she’s a roly-poly play machine with a killer pounce.
two weeks until two weeks vacation. omg, so close.
it may not be a dyson, but i LOVE my new vacuum. wow. really. LOVE. it’s actually a little bit obscene. yay bissell! thanks, scott the vacuum sales guy at sears. you done me good. except, now all i want to do is vacuum shit. good thing there’s lots to vacuum these days.
i can’t get over how pissed off i get if i can’t complete a workout. last night, almost at the end of bootcamp, i started to get a leg cramp. it’s not uncommon, but it is kind of weird. i can feel it coming on and if i don’t manage it just right my entire leg will go into spasm. so, i ripped off my knee brace (i think that exacerbates it) and spent the last ten minutes of class hunched over in the corner trying to keep my leg from falling off. grr. i try so hard and i’m so disappointed in myself when i can’t finish the circuit or have to modify everything too much. i just want to do everything everyone else does, dammit! it feels like such a failure.
i’ve had kingsley for a year already and i’ve spent a grand total of $150 on maintenance. HAHAHA! take that, liselotte! i’m so glad i made the decision to get a new car last year. it has removed such a huge worry from my mind. i get in, it goes, it stops, i get out. it doesn’t hurt that it’s zoom-zoom cute, either. yeah, king. you and i are going to go far together.
ow.
how many ways can i be woken up from my night’s rest:
sunday night: 1am – the neighbour kid starts drunken/angry yelling out his window to either someone outside or in the room with him, i couldn’t quite tell. it continued long enough that i was wide awake by the time it ended and took me forever to get back to some semblance of sleep.
monday night: 4:30am – the fire truck is attending something across the street. i didn’t realize this from sirens blaring, but from the low rumbling of its incessant motor idling. yeah, i understand that they need the engine running to power all their life-saving equipment, but at 4:30am? ugh.
tuesday night: 2:30am – a binner decides that it’s the perfect time to sort through all his recycled treasure. bottles and cans sure do make a lot of noise when being tossed from one shopping cart to another in the middle of the night. i’m all for binners, but really? isn’t he supposed to be sleeping under a bush at that hour?
i know i don’t live in the most peaceful of neighbourhoods. it’s the price i pay for the ridiculously central and convenient location. in addition, i have no control over the way my apartment is heated, so i tend to leave my windows open all year long, just to avoid living in a hotbox and cooking my cats while i’m away at work. i used to combat the noises with earplugs. they took some getting used to, but once i did, i would wear them pretty much every night to drown out the traffic, sexy neighbour times and the unrelenting gurgle of my energy-sucking refrigerator.
then i got cats.
turns out cats get into stuff when you’re sleeping. and, well, you kinda have to be able to hear the stuff they’re getting into so you can either: a) yell at them; ii) move them to a hard surface before they gack on the rug/couch; or, 3) monitor the situation but not do a damn thing because they’ve broken your spirit and you’ve reconciled never having anything nice ever again.
needless to say, since i got cats, i don’t wear earplugs. what logically follows that is: since i got cats, i don’t sleep. well, at least. while the cats themselves are now occasionally peaceful and go an entire night without trying to rip down or knock over something, i’m still subject to the noises of the outside world which are conspiring to ensure i have a mental break from lack of proper REM sleep.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’m tired and i don’t know what to do about it other than, you know, deafen myself to keep out the nocturnal noises which torment my slumber.
January has been the longest month. fuck, it’s not even over yet and it feels like it should be June or July instead of still January, for pete’s sake. ugh.
um, what’ve i done so far this year…
i’ve gone back to bootcamp, which was very much needed. i’m only two weeks in and already i feel better for it. i don’t think the spinach smoothies i’m downing daily are hurting either. i’m mostly on-track with my bootcamp diet, with severe and catastrophic lapses here and there (hello, pity pizza ordered last week). i don’t really like eating oats every morning, and going down to one cup of coffee on workdays is tortuous and just plain mean, but it could be worse. i’m eating lots of protein & rice & huge salads every day. oh, and i get to have my favourite yogurt every day. yay!
yeah, that’s about it.
oh, i took Christopher to the symphony for his birthday. we did the same last year, so i guess it’s tradition now. it was fun, i just wish i’d been feeling better for it. i don’t like being a cliche — sitting in the darkened theatre trying not to fall asleep to the classical music. oops.
seriously! it’s not even been a month since my mom left or Tyler arrived and it feels like i haven’t seen either for them for a year! do not like.
the kittens are awesome. i just wish Rose would stop trying so hard to get out the door and run down the hall. it’s stressful trying to get in or out of my apartment these days. but, at least she’s finally eating the hairball treats i got them — hopefully there will be fewer hairy surprises on my rugs now. i also think it’s freakin’ adorable that they both have their definite favourite toys and will mew and be weird until i retrieve them out from below furniture they get stuck under.
lately, i’ve been going to bed between 8:30-9:00pm, getting up between 5:00-6:00am and i’m still exhausted most of the time. that’s 8 full hours of (mostly) good sleep and it still feels like it would take an atomic blast to get me out of bed. i’m taking my supplements and eating lots of veggies and exercising, but ugh. i just blame winter. i can’t wait for it to be light until 9pm again.
my dad’s going to Cuba for two weeks, leaving Saturday. now he sure knows how to retire. i’m jealous but still very happy for him, he deserves it after all the years he put in working to take care of everyone else. what i didn’t realize until he mentioned it — but makes sense if you think about it — is that going to Cuba means a direct flight from Vancouver. since american airlines can’t land there, there’s no stops or plane changes in america for him. nice! no gate rape for my papa!
speaking of, i keep thinking i want to go visit my friends in Massachusetts this year, but i’m actually kind of scared and resentful of the security involved with flying to america these days. dudes, if someone wants to blow up or hijack a plane, they will, regardless of your security measures. there is always someone out there smarter than the system. blah. i hate stupidity.
btw, you’re awesome and i love you lots.
when i win the lottery and i buy an apartment building for all my friends to live in with me, we will have a communal appliance cupboard. in it will be a food processor, stand mixer, waffle maker, george forman grill, juicer, vita mix (although, i might just put one of those in each kitchen) and all the fancy pans/tins/bowls/single-use items you see in Pampered Chef catalogs and food blogs.
i have a sudden craving for hummous. i have a can of chick peas in the cupboard, a jar of tahini in the fridge and i’m 45 minutes in a 450 degree oven away from having roasted garlic. unfortunately, i have no appliance which can combine these items into hummous. nor does anyone i know who i’d feel comfortable saying “hey, can i borrow/come over to use your food processor?” relatively nearby. hence the need for a communal appliance cupboard.
we could also expand it to include fancy craft tools (button makers, sewing machines, goccos, etc), tools (drills, levels, saws, routers, etc) and even household appliances (dyson vacuums, steam cleaners, etc). just think of all the money and space we’d save!
the catch is, of course, that everyone would have to live in North Van. with my million rescued cats (because, when i win the lottery, i’m going to save all the cats in the world). but at least we’d always have access to everything ever needed. ever.
oh, hey. it’s a new year. well, hi 2011! how’s it going? what’s your favourite movie? when did you lose your virginity? may i get you a canape?
my 2010 seemed to be the year of replacement. i replaced my car, my tv, my pvr, my internet provider, my computer, some furnitures, a friend or two, my operating system and my petlessness. it sounds kind of overwhelming (and expensive), but i managed to pull most of it off with a net savings. well, except for the car (kind of). that’s a little impressive, so i’ll allow myself a pat on the back.
i missed most of the Olympics fun because i was both working and sick. i did get to go to the last Victory Ceremony with my best friend, which made up for everything else.
i got told i was normal by the hematologist, stopped taking rat poison and started eating broccoli again. it was nice to stop being afraid i was going to drop dead any second.
i started going to bootcamp, eating three million cups of veggies a day, lost a few pounds, gained a lot of confidence and bought smaller jeans.
i drove to Kelowna in my new car to visit family, Gill and have adventure going from air conditioned place to air conditioned place.
i went to the symphony in Surrey and cried as they played my favourite piece.
i went to America with my mom and discovered that there’s no point in my going to Las Vegas because the cigarette smoke would probably kill me.
i. got. kittens.
my very best Tyler came to visit me for NYE all the way from America. we’ve been friends for over 15 years. we’ve hung out twice. we need to do that more often; but next time, it’s on his turf!
for 2011, i have one resolution: to keep the promises i make to myself.
it seems small, but it’s actually quite big. i have a bad habit of saying i’m going to do X and never really follow through. it could mean going to the gym or not eating crap or keeping in touch or not letting the shower walls get grungy or spending so much or whatever. i say i’m going to (or not going to, as the case may be) and then i don’t. and, most of the time, the only person who gets hurt or let down by my inability to get it done is me. i get less fit or fatter or broke or lonely or icked out. no one else. so, this year i’m going to try to respect myself a little more and keep the promises i make. to myself.
in addition to that resolution, i have one major goal: pay off my bank loan by my 39th birthday in July.
i’ve done some fiscal finagling and i’m on-track to do just that. what that means is that the only thing i’ll owe is my 0% car loan and i’ll suddenly experience a 10% increase in my disposable income. that’s HUGE! that extra breathing room in my budget will create an incalculable amount of stress-relief. i’ve been paying for my early financial stupidity for way too close to 20 years. it’s high time i slayed that beast and reclaimed a little more control of my money. and self-respect.
here’s to a lot less stress and a lot more fun. 2011, i’m looking at you!
i’m going to make a confession. sometimes, when i think about my kittens, i start to cry.
yup, i’m a nutbar. i just can’t help it! i waited SO LONG to have cats and now i have two amazingly adorable, awesome, playful, pretty, crazy and hilarious cats… i get a little overwhelmed with just how much awesome they’ve brought into my life. it’s astounding to me how much i love them after only knowing them for a few weeks. i look forward to going home from wherever i am because i know they’re there waiting for me. yes, i may walk into shredded toilet paper or broken window blinds, but i don’t care. they’re my fantasti-cats!
gush.
they follow me around and mew and purr and want to help me with everything — especially eating my yogurt. they run around like little horses and wrassle on the bed and greet me with snuggles in the morning dark. they love everything about the bathroom and paper balls… oh, the paper balls. even when they’re shitheads or distracting me from what i’m trying to do, they’re perfect. i count myself very lucky to have found them and have them pick me to be their new handmaid. two kittens is not what i set out to find, but now that they’re with me, i couldn’t imagine making any other choice.
mrrf.
I’ve been buying and loving your ALLEBY slippers for many, many years. Recently, I noticed that you’ve discontinued them and replaced them with the NJUTA slipper. I purchased three pair (I buy a lot of slippers — they make great slippers for guests and keeping my wet feet off the hardwood floors!), hoping that they would be comparable. Unfortunately, they weren’t.
I found them heavy and uncomfortable compared to the light and comfy ALLEBYs I’d grown so used to. Plus, after only a week of wearing them after a shower (yes, with slightly wet feet), they developed a sick, rotting smell I can only surmise was caused because the moisture had no chance to evaporate due to the new construction and materials.
While I understand and appreciate that products become obsolescent and it’s in your company’s interest to periodically refresh your product lines, I would entreat you to consider reintroducing the ALLEBY slippers. They were a superior product and one which there was no other comparator for yours in the slipper market. A soft-bottomed, uni-sized, inexpensive slipper? Trust me, I’ve tried finding one out in the marketplace and there are none to find. If they are available, they are definitely not at IKEA’s price point.
Alternately, I’m sure there’s got to be a supply of the leftover, unsold slippers in a carton in a warehouse somewhere in IKEA’s domain. What are the chances of my procuring a dozen or so for my own? Wouldn’t your company rather store less and collect some revenue from them? I beseech you to take pity on a girl who just adores your ALLEBY slippers and dreams of one day slipping another pair on her (sometimes damp, but always chilly) feet.
Thank you very much,
Heather
[yes, i did just send this email to IKEA Canada. boy, i hope it works.]
amy is a jumping cat. she leaps and twists in the air and even when she doesn’t land on all four feet, she always gets up to jump some more. she also likes to follow me around the house. she doesn’t often want to interact with me, but if i get up to go somewhere, it’s not long before she rounds a corner just to check up on me. amy loves to chase crumpled up paper balls. she two-paws them around the living room and down the hall, occasionally dropping down on top of them and growling low in her throat. amy is the skinny sister. she’s long and lean and soft and pliable. she lets me pick her up and turn her over without a fuss. i can stretch her out or curl her up and she’s content to humour me until… then she bats at my fingers with her soft little paws, hardly ever using her claws, but oftentimes using her teeth. she likes to nibble, that one; but, never hard. just enough to show she’s fearsome. amy is also curious. she’s always looking around for something to discover. she curled up in the cables under my desk. she jumped up to the shelf with the photo frames. she lays down on top of my mac mini. she climbs up the back of my desk chair. she sits in the sink and plays with a trickle of tap water. she perches on the windowsill. she walks around the toilet as i’m using it. she inspects everything i eat before i can. at night, she likes to crawl under the covers and curl up beside me for a while. not a long while, but it’s enough. it’s sweet and i scritch her chin and tell her she’s a good kitty.
rose is an observing cat. she likes to sit on a chair or the couch and nap. she sits in front of the sliding door and watches everything going on outside. she gets very excited when a squirrel visits the balcony. she loves the laser pointer and will run around until she stops and pants with her mouth open. she mews when you wake her up with a pat and a scratch. she’s the fat sister. when her sister swoops in and steals her toy she will hiss at her. rose will sometimes hold up her previously-injured paw like it still hurts and that makes me sad. she will sleep with me almost all night and take up half the bed by stretching out and showing her spotted belly. she likes to eat the small pull on my bedside lamp. she jumps into the bathtub after i’ve had a shower and licks up the water drops. rose hates closed doors and will try with all her might to get her paws under one in hopes of opening it. she’s a talker, when she wants to be, and will sometimes hold a full conversation. once in a while, she gets very affectionate and rubs up against my legs and will jump up to head-butt my hands. she doesn’t like cuddling or being picked up very much, but if i hold her like a baby i can get her to stay a little while longer by giving her her tail to nibble on. rose loves to chase toes under a blanket and will hop four-footed across the mattress to get at them. rose likes to lay beside me on the couch while i watch tv, especially if i have a blanket overtop me. her purr is rattly and loud and makes the whole bed vibrate.
i’m a kitty mama!
i waited all day yesterday for a phone call. i kept checking my answering machine remotely, wishing for a message. i rushed home and watched the clock anxiously until 5pm, when the shelter closed, only to feel sad and resigned myself to wait another day. then, at about 5:55pm, when the phone rang and the on-tv-screen caller id revealed it was the shelter, i answered, bracing myself for bad news.
it was a long and information packed phone call which not once contained concrete statements of acceptance until the very end. it gave me a stress headache, actually. but, the end result is worth it. i get to pick up my new kitties on saturday morning! i could have fetched them sooner, but i think this will work out best as then we’ll have the whole weekend to get them settled and used to our new life together.
OMG KITTIES!!!!11111ONE
so, now that i’m bringing these tiny balls of fluffy claws into my life, i need to give them new names. seriously, there’s no way i’m going to own cats named Tuti & Fruity. how awful! that’s where you guys come in. i have a (very) long list of possible names and i need help whiddling it down. i’ve a few favourites in the bunch, but i’d really like to solicit some popular opinion on the matter. to that end, here’s my list:
| huff & puff | mish/mash |
| frick & frack | charlotte & emily |
| peaches & pixie | salt’n’pepa |
| kate & allie | thelma & louise |
| rose & amy | betty & wilma |
| ginger & mary-ann | laverne & shirley |
| buffy & willow | wendy & tinkerbell |
| lucy & ethel | betty & veronica |
| romi & michelle | tigger & pooh |
| mouse & bird | meatball & dumpling |
| sugar & spice | sushi & pho |
| bubble & pearl | whiskers & kitten |
| geek & nerd | php & perl |
| canon & nikon | aperture & shutter |
| flickr & twitter | mac & pc |
| tivo & boxee | peachy & keen |
| peach & rosalina | tiny & teeny |
| grey & brown | saffron & violet |
| dilly & pickle | boo & squeak |
| peas & carrots | sudo & grep |
please leave your top two name pairs in the comments. i can’t guarantee i’ll use any of your picks, but i think they’ll help steer me in the right direction.
yay! hurry up, caturday!
he wiggled his fingers then slowly made a fist with his new hand.
this feels real.
he stretched his hand open. he pulled backwards on his pinky finger until the nail almost touched his wrist. it didn’t hurt.
they promised me no pain. i can feel it, but it doesn’t hurt.
letting his finger spring back into place, he turned his head. first to the left, then to the right. up and down. side to side. it felt almost unbearably real.
he slowly experimented with moving each part of his new body. hadn’t he asked for this; to be remade, reborn, in this cybernetic form? why was he surprised that it had happened? why did he doubt it so much? he’d read the research, seen the prototypes, talked to the first, defective, recipients. he’d risked everything to reach this moment, yet he still disbelieved.
how is it that even with an artificial brain, i still have these debilitating human thought patterns?
even in his thoughts, the word “human” was uttered with such contempt that anyone overhearing would have cringed at the malice it contained.
he’d searched his entire life for a means to escape the unbearable existence of his own flesh. now, on the dawn of his new life, he was coming to the realization that it wasn’t his cells which had held him hostage. it had been him all along. the core of him. his thoughts. his mind. his soul.
i’ve become frankenstein’s monster. i’m pinnochio in reverse. a boy made a puppet. why didn’t i see it sooner? now i will never be free.
he would have sobbed then, if they’d built him tear ducts.
i wish i had known. at least i would have died.
[originally posted on July 27, 2001]
after six years, i’m finally ready to bring a cat into my apartment. the super’s been asked, the screens have been installed and the bathroom is ready for it’s kitty-friendly addition. the only thing missing is the cat.
there sure are a lot of cats out there waiting for new homes.
i’ve been to three of the seven SPCAs in the lower mainland over the last week. every time, i leave wanting to take all the cats home with me. with the exception of the Richmond SPCA, the cats live in sad 2’x2’x2′ metal cages. some reach out their paws through the bars to beg you to grab your attention. others hide in their boxes or bury themselves under blankets, too scared or depressed to interact.
it’s been a heartbreaking process.
yesterday, Christopher and i went back out to Surrey and Richmond for second visits with three potentials we met on the weekend. unfortunately, one showed a nasty side (and drew blood) and another was far too much of a scaredy-cat needing a lot more time and work than i have to give, so they’re off the list. the third wasn’t quite as lively and affectionate as our first visit and has proven without a doubt she’s not a cuddle cat, which is definitely a characteristic i’m looking for.
but, they say that when one door closes, another opens, and i met two fantastic tabbies i kind of fell in love with.
this is mitsy, a one-year-old female:
and this is stax, a five-month-old male:
mitsy took everything i threw at her. picking her up, scratching her butt, holding her like a baby. she even let me rub her belly without an attack! and, more adorably, she was up on her hind feet trying to catch the hummingbirds playing on the tv in the Surrey cat room. SO CUTE! her coat is silky smooth with very little white in with the brown tabby.
stax is a little younger than i was looking for, but he’s a riot. he would lie down on the floor and stretch alllll the way out, easily doubling his length, and loving a tummy scritch.. for a while. once he was over it, he let me know with a couple of back claws. he’s got such an expressive face and pretty yellow-green eyes.
so, i’m back to square one. i have two and a half cats i really like to choose from.
this process is kind of killing me. i think it’s because i utterly fell in love with the first cat i saw: buddy. he was a beautiful grey tabby at the North Van Bosley’s pet store. unfortunately for me, he was already spoken for when we met. ugh.
i joked with Chris that maybe i shouldn’t get a cat at all, just keep going to visit them at the shelters. but, we both agreed that’s not the same thing at all. i think he should get stax and i’ll get mitsy and we can all live happily ever after. see? that wasn’t hard at all!
i’m kind of scared to post anything to this here weblog anymore as i’ve been repeatedly raped by comment spammers. at the height of the degradation, i had over 650 comments in less than twelve hours. i’ve since deleted them all and disabled comments on most of the entries i’ve written in the last two years. i feel like i’m just asking for more pillaging by even typing a single character in this little box, but, oh well. i have the urge to purge and this is where i do it best. or something. it’s probably just that i needed more than 140 characters to properly update and disseminate.
have i mentioned how much i love (and hate) twitter?
about the comment spam, i guess it means i need to upgrade my cms. i’m not at all inclined to do so, especially since it looks as if wordpress is the route i’m being forced to take. i can’t find any really good spam filter plug-ins for movable type (my current platform of choice). at this point, just the thought of having to migrate makes me want to hide under my bed with all the dustbunnies and hairballs.
what happened? ten years ago, i loved nothing more than to sit and fiddle with my blog layout and tweak settings until i couldn’t tweak no more. now? i’d happily pay someone in creme brulee to do it all for me, while using a a stock template, to boot!
anyhoo, that’s just one reason why i’ve been loathe to post anything. it seems like it’s not worth the eventual hassle. if i haven’t mentioned it, twitter is the other, duh.
i’m upset that autumn seems to be broken this year. my favourite trees in Grand Boulevard Park skipped their fabulous brilliant reds & yellows by going straight from green to dead. i think it was probably the crazy-dry summer followed by the biblical amounts of rain we got over the course of a few weeks in September. i look forward to them turning shades of fire every fall. *sniff* sad christmas.
did you know that if you don’t pay attention, you can spend a lot of money on relatively nothing in a very short period of time? i should have just bought myself something big, in one fell swoop, with my lottery winnings rather than nickel & dime it to death with not much to show for it. there’s still a little left, and i think i’ll invest in a memory upgrade for McGillicuddy — i get the beachball of death & the other day, Excel actually crashed with an “out of memory” error.
i’m not going to write anymore right now for two reasons:
1. maybe i’ll come back again soon; and,
2. i don’t want to spoil you. you’re needy enough already. ;)
p.s. i’ll leave comments open until the first spam comment gets left on this entry. then, i’ll get a gun and go on a rampage.
let’s see… have i told you lately that i love you? no? i’m not surprised. i’m not in a very loving frame of mind these days. except with pizza and my couch.
and, because i’m having a really hard time finding reasons to love, i’m going to make a list of things which make me happy — or, at least, don’t piss me off. because i really need a reminder that life isn’t as shitty as it feels to me right now.
– cats. i got to play with my best friend’s cat the other day. he’s so soft and purry and pretty. i heart cats. when my super comes to fix my floor, i’m going to find out, once and for all, if i can get a cat. if the answer is yes, that’s it. no more talk. i’m going to go find me something soft and fuzzy to love.
– HD. o.m.g. yeah, now i get what all the fuss is about. of course, it’s all thanks to the new (to me) plasma tv and super-cheap Telus tv service i just switched to. wow. yeah, i can’t wait to see Castle in HD. all that yummy Nathan Fillion goodness all big and pore-rich? *drool*
– sewing. i can’t entirely tell if this makes me happy yet, but the IDEA of it certainly does. i signed up for a sewing 101 class at Spool of Thread next saturday. i’m ridiculously excited to go and learn how to make a tote bag out of super-yummy fabrics.
– kingsley. i love air conditioning. i love keyless entry. i love power steering. i love how quiet it is. i love that it goes when i tell it to and stops when i tell it to. i love warranties. i love new car smell (which i can’t smell anymore). i love driving without fear for the first time in far too many years.
– canadian health care. it’s coming up a year since my NDE and i can’t say enough good things about paramedics, nurses and general hospital staff. i had surgery, then suffered near-fatal complications, and everyone involved in my care and treatment was beyond awesome (except for that one ER doctor who will go unnamed). i am, and will always be grateful that i live in a country where i don’t have to hesitate for a moment before seeking medical care. i know that help is there for me, no matter how much money i have or what my standing in society. the system is not perfect, but it saved my life. i love canada.
– mcgillicuddy. for my birthday, i bought myself a Mac Mini and it’s so nice to have a computer which Just Works. hell, it’s also a media PC since i have it connected to my tv via HDMI. no more transferring files from my computer to the DVD player via DVD/USB/SD-card. just click-click and bam! more HD goodness! plus, it’s tiny and cute and i no longer have that ugly, noisy box sitting on my floor filling up with dust and spiders.
– emergency fund. thanks to my mom & i’s meager lottery win the other week, i now have (well, i will in two weeks) a nice-sized cushion of cash sitting in the orange bank. and, thanks to my Magic Spreadsheet and two years of budget tweaking, i shouldn’t have to touch it except in the case of dire need (which, thanks to the new car purchase, shouldn’t come up often anymore *crosses fingers*). it’s nice to know it’s there, even if i hope i never have to use it for anything.
– skirts. with age comes a severe decrease in modesty. or maybe that was just a week in hospital with random strangers lifting up my gown several times a day. either way, yeah. i used to be so stupidly ashamed of my fat cankles that i’d never, ever think to bare them, even in the hottest hot or at the prettiest party. now? blah. i’m fat. my legs are fat. it’s hot. i’m going to wear a goddamn skirt! plus, skirts are flouncy and fun. and pretty. and i need something to make me feel pretty. who cares if my Polish peasant legs are stubby and pale. they’re not hurting you, so why should i hide them away? bring on the skirts — let’s twirl!
– Christopher Evans. he’s stupidly kind and sweet to me, even when i don’t deserve it. he’ll go run to the store to fetch bacon so we can have a yummy breakfast at home. he’ll change my kitchen light bulb because i’m too short to reach it without a teetering tower of chairs and stools. he’ll tell me i’m cute and kiss the back of my neck. he’ll carry the basket at the grocery store even when it gets super heavy and it hurts his sore back. he’ll only complain a little when i make him watch yet another episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker. *gush*
– getting rid of stuff. i experience a big mental sigh of relief every single time i remove something unused or unloved from my home. it’s as if a physical weight is lifted. i love having bare space around me in my apartment. it feels right. it feels free. it opens up my ability to imagine and relax. when there’s too much stuff around me, i feel claustrophobic. i get antsy and anxious and unhappy. i’m currently gearing up for a huge de-clutter. my first priority is to rip all my CDs then find them new homes elsewhere. i don’t know what i’ll do with all that shelf-space! how exciting!!
well, that’s surprising. i didn’t think i’d have that many things which make me happy. i didn’t put down things like bubble tea or not talking or showers, because they have negatives attached to them which almost neutralize their goodness. but, yeah. i guess life doesn’t suck as much as it seems.
now, bring me spicy tuna.
today is my blog’s 10th birthday.
i wanted to make a big production with prizes and retrospectives and “best of”s, but yeah. it’s not really that kind of blog anymore, is it?
every august 10th, i take a few minutes to think about all the good things this website has brought me. i’ve met some of my most favourite people thanks to my weblog. i’ve kept other friends and family members up on my latest antics and tragedies. i’ve shared my photos and creations. i’ve gotten support and encouragement when i needed it most. i’ve used it to learn about myself and words and html and css. i’ve vented and cursed and swooned and gushed and laughed and cried and grumbled. all out here in the open on the internets for anyone to see and share.
i miss it, if i’m really honest with myself. i miss the multiple posts per day. the comments and commentary. the link backs. the random wish list gifts. the stalkers. even the template thieves! but, facebook and twitter have made that sort of blogging passe, i suppose. i’m not interesting enough to be a paid blogger like Dooce or knowledgeable enough about anything in particular to monetize my ramblings, which seems to be the only reason why people have blogs these days.
i started writing online when i didn’t have a lot going on in my life. i didn’t really have any local friends to spend time with. if i wasn’t working, i was probably chatting online or sitting alone in my apartment. the vancouver blogging community (and, later, meetup, flickr and twitter) changed all that for me. if i hadn’t started a blog, i probably wouldn’t have met so many great friends who’ve brought such fun and joy into my life. i would never have met Christopher. i can only imagine i would be a much lonelier and sadder person than i am now.
all from a few words on a server somewhere connected by a bunch of bits travelling around the world superfast! how awesome is technology?!
also, every august 10th, i make some vague promise to blog more, blog better; but, i can’t promise that to you anymore. i blow my wad on conversations with real people these days; or, spew out my pith in 140 characters or less. it’s been years since i’ve managed to be interesting on a consistent basis. i apologize for that. i miss you, it, us, them. it’s not the same as it was back at the beginning of this shiny new century; but it is what it is and, honestly, i don’t mind it all that much.
so, happy birthday blog! and happy birthday blog readers! thanks for the shoulders, the ears, the laughs, the love, the learning and the decade of your time & attention.
my week thusfar has completely unraveled. and it’s only tuesday! ugh. i hate it when i’m overcommitted and my regularily scheduled plans are thwarted by outside stuff.
so, i find myself obsessively planning all the things i want to accomplish during my glorious ten-day vacation which commences promptly at 3:30pm friday afternoon:
– get Kingsley’s first service (has it been four months already??)
– go to the doctor for various pokes & prods
– visit america to buy sponges, underpants and, hopefully, pants which won’t fall down
– finish one or two home projects so that i can document and present my awesomeness to the internets
– go to Kelowna to visit Gill and family (i have yet to thank my aunt for the hand-me-down plasma tv)
– sleep
– get a damn hair cut
– see Inception
– install fancy softwares and get things like my scanner and cameras working on my mac
– see people
– be alone
– rent a paddleboat to float on Deer Lake and bbq hot dogs with many favourite peoples
– sell more stuff on Craigslist (omg, it’s so much fun!)
so, yeah. i’m just muddling my way through this last week of officemate-filling-in. trying not to screw up too much and avoid as much confusing/weird crap as possible before i get to hand it all back to him with just as much explanation as he gave me (which was NONE).
i think the worst part is that the gym is being renovated, and that means no bootcamp this week. ugh! how the hell am i supposed to purge my stress if i can’t sweat it out?? good thing my stomach’s been upset, or i’d just eat my weight in medicinal chocolate.
om. vacation. om.