so… i went out on a date last night.
i’d been corresponding with this guy for a couple of days when he suggested meeting up at the free vancouver symphony orchestra concert at deer lake park. i was feeling really cute and exuberant yesterday, so even though it was against my first date rules i said yes.
this guy was great on paper, especially when he was writing. it’s embarassing, but i actually giggled with glee when he used a semi-colon. properly. yes, i know. i’m sad and pathetic. but when you’re getting mail from men who, unironically, type things like “your the bom”, a guy who knows his way around punctuation is a bit of a thrill.
okay, maybe only for me.
anyway, after a huge nightmare trying to find parking (who knew so many people were interested in the symphony!), i finally arrived at our meeting place outside the art gallery. it was interesting, as soon as i spotted him and got near, all the people who had previously been milling about disappeared. if it’d been a movie, he would have turned to see me walk up to him. as it was, i called his name and there was this beat or two when he didn’t turn or seem to acknowledge me.
he was very tall and very blond with his newly bleached hair (long story short: he was born blond and wanted to see what it would be like to be blond again). the first couple minutes were kind of awkward and i worried this was going to be a repeat of my first date, where i tried so very hard to get a conversation started but had to admit defeat. it turned out i didn’t have a lot to worry on the conversation front.
we found ourselves a spot on the grass, spread out the blanket i’d brought and settled in for a couple hours of culture in the fresh air. i was somewhat concerned that we’d not get a chance to chat while the music was playing, but after the intermission, we spent more time talking during the second half than actively listening. at the end of the moonlit show (who knew symphonies did encores?) he asked if i’d like to go get a drink and without thinking i said yes.
we took my car to white spot where we had some food and beverages and managed to talk for solid couple of hours about some pretty weighty subjects. he’s a smart guy; a little dry, but that’s not necessarily bad. by midnight i figured it was time to call it quits, especially since he had a long drive out to maple ridge.
sounds like a pretty good date, doesn’t it?
but, this is my life and nothing ever goes as good as it seems at first glance. at some point during the concert, we were talking and he made some quiet remark i didn’t quite hear. when i didn’t acknowledge him, he suffixed it with another mumbled comment about preferences and then told me a story about his being dragged into bed by an overweight woman he had been dating and how she asked what was wrong when after an hour of fooling around nothing had yet “come up” for him. ah. now i was clued in.
when exiting the car to go into the restaurant, he told me i was “deadly pretty” and that if i were to start working out i’d have all the men in the city falling all over themselves to get a piece of me. later on, soon before saying goodnight, he went on for quite a while about how great i was and, again, if i were slimmer i’d never want for attention from men. he also surmised that it was probably best for modern civilization that i was heavy so that society wouldn’t crumble in man’s bid to be with me.
those were the nicest insults i’ve ever received.
oh, but it gets better. he mailed me today saying he had fun and made a little joke about something we’d talked about at the restaurant. i replied that, yes, i’d had fun and if he wanted to hang out again to give me a shout. i was being half polite and half serious. he really is a decent enough guy, he’s just not hot for me, which is totally okay. everyone’s got their stuff they won’t compromise on, but not everyone would have the balls to put it so plainly in an email:
“You’re a nice and interesting person — or I could say, I personally find it easy to be with you. If I didn’t have any hangups about weight, I’d probably be looking for a ring I could offer.
I can’t say this w/o sounding shallow, and I apologize fully for that, but I need to know, do you have any plans to slim down?”
