trying desperately to concentrate on the good things in my life…
– a roof over my head
– a job to go to each day
– friends to spend time with
– a boy to take naps with
– living without fear of war in my homeland
– parents who love me
– literacy
– intelligence
– humour
– time for hobbies, or not
– technology
– sunshine
– health
– income
– comfy pants
– a car to drive around in
– freaky eyes
– music
– freedom
– laughter
– sharing
i have a lot to be thankful and joyous about. i just wish i could stop wishing for _______ or _______ long enough to really savour them.
i’m the worst email replier in the world and i’ve decided i’m going to stop apologizing for it. instead, i’m going to alter my .sig to say:
“if you do not receive a timely reply to an email you have sent me, do not be offended — i’m that rude to everyone. if you want more information, you should be prepared to hound me a little.”
hm, that’s a little wordy. any suggestions on a shorter, pithier version?
from my long weekend:
– severe drunkeness results in girls kissing girls
– ‘of montreal’ is awesome live
– christopher is a sore monopoly loser
– teenagers aren’t so bad to hang out with
– drunken boyfriends babble at 2am
– laziness won out, the PNE will have to wait until next year
– i’m such a tease
do you have a significant boy in your life?
do you have a brother you love to pieces?
do you have a male friend you care about?
if you do, make sure they read this.
amen, sister. amen.
(disclaimer: my vigorous agreement with the thoughts expressed in the post are based solely on past experiences, just so we’re crystal clear.)
i’ve come to the decision that samosas are the perfect breakfast food. there are lots of carbs (and protein if they’re chicken or beef) to give you energy, veggies for roughage and the spicy wakes up your mouth in the morning. what can be wrong with that? if you’re going to try it, i also recommend dipping the samosa in leftover butter chicken sauce. mmm… heaven.
friday night was colene’s big going away/birthday party downtown. all the guests wore black and the birthday girl looked stunning in her white party dress. the venue wasn’t optimal for the number of people who showed up, but i still managed to have a pretty darn good time. too bad the drinks were sorely lacking in any kind of kick, though. *sigh* i can’t believe she’s going to be gone for most of two months. she better send me postcards!
christopher, jen & i went to the kerrisdale camera show on sunday where i bought myself a Polaroid SX-70 Land Camera, a replacement Olympus XA for the broken one i bought at the last camera show, a polarizing filter for my D70, an X-Ray film bag so i don’t have to borrow chris’ if i fly again and a bunch of $2 film. all in all, it turned out to be a surprisingly good (and spendy) outing for me. unfortunately, it wasn’t as productive for chris, who left empty-handed. jen managed to get a new brick-like camera, but only after i talked the very nice seller-man into dropping the price for her. i was a negotiating fool that day. i didn’t pay first price for anything except the film. woo!
the job situation has been interesting so far. i think i’m feeling a little less freaked out about my ignorance, which is good. i’m asking a lot of questions and not worrying about looking dumb — how else am i going to learn? i’m getting a lot of morning exercise hauling big, heavy, dirty parts around, which is both good and bad. i like the moving around, but i’m not so happy about the dirty and gross. when i get home at the end of the day i can’t wait to get into non-stinky clothes.
another thing about doing this job, my morning routine has been completely ruined. so, i’ve been going to starbucks on my way to work to fetch a Venti 4-shot non-fat sugar-free vanilla latte, which does me just fine for my daily caffeine requirements. i’ve noticed something strange though, most of last week the price i paid for my big cup of java goodness fluctuated wildy. here’s what i’ve paid the last eight days:
monday $5.83
tuesday $5.25
wednesday $4.66
thursday $5.83
friday $5.83
monday $5.25
tuesday $5.83
wednesday $5.83
obviously, the cheaper days are because i’m not being charged for a flavour or extra shot or something, but geez… don’t tease a girl with a $4.66 latte. it’s not kind. then there’s the middle class guilt for spending $6/day on a coffee when, with a little extra effort, i could get it for $0.50. just don’t tell my dad, okay? he’d lose what’s left of his hair.
good things:
– my total crush on alison
– new cameras
– sleeping until 11:30 on saturday
– cleaning the house
– floating shelves
– pie
– freshly laundered sheets
– music
– yam rolls
– a toilet which flushes every time
– cuddling
– honesty
i didn’t think tapas would scratch the surface of my ravenous hunger last night while out for dinner with jamie and colene, but the five dishes (plus dessert) we sampled at bin 942 last night were filling both to my tummy and my senses.
we’d actually planned to go to vij’s, but upon arriving and learning of the up to two-hour wait for a table, we decided to look for somewhere else to dine. the fates smiled on our decision, as we were immediately seated in the corner booth in the window at bin.
it took us quite a while for us to narrow down our choices because pretty much everything on the menu looked amazing, but i was dead set on getting the ahi tuna with chow mein and, thanks to leaving the decision to jamie, we also ordered the beef tenerloin phyllo wellington with whipped potatoes. we also ordered three smaller dishes: gorganzola pesto bruscetta, caesar salad and warm brie with blueberry compote.
while i’d normally say that $15 for two pieces of seared tuna and no more than one cup of noodles was a little overpriced (and, i truly thought that when i first laid eyes upon the dish), once we started eating, i threw all thought of cost out of my head. it was all about the yumminess on the plate and in my mouth. then again, i think ponzu sauce might actually be a mood-altering narcotic.
after we ate (and ate, and ate), we debated leaving for another venue to hunt down dessert, but boy am i glad we stayed put. i made the executive decision to order the fondue. how smart did that make me look? not even taking into consideration colene’s desire to go have fondue with me for, oh, the last three years, everything about the dessert was awesome (well, the cinnamon donut pieces could have been a little fresher). how much fun is it to eat food with a spear? and then dip it in melted belgian chocolate? yeah, i think you’re getting the picture now.
by no stretch of anyone’s imagination am i considered a foodie, but sometimes a dining experience makes me sing out loud about how amazing food can be. last night was one of them.
bin 942: **** (just make sure to get there early to avoid the line)
nobody takes advantage of those i love without the consequence of ME.
i’m so angry right now. i am barely containing the urge to get on a plane and hunt down an evil con-artist and beat the living hell out of her ugly, lying, conniving face. GRR.
no one messes with those i love. no one.
okay, blinding, protective rage aside, it was a good weekend. i got both my goals accomplished friday night: massive beer consumption and crying my eyes out and, other than the couple of tender-headed hours saturday morning, it was exactly what the doctor ordered. i can thank chris and jen for making it happen — the good company and the beer, that is. the cathartic crying came after.
saturday was über-lazy. spent the morning nursing my hangover, once that was done, i fetched christopher and we ran a couple errands then we spent the rest of the day being lazy bums and it was fantastic.
sunday, chris & i went to granville island on a mission (from god). after accomplishing my supersecret task, we wandered waded through the crowds, bought berries and then took the old interurban railway to main street (it’s TOTALLY worth the $2 round-trip fare — you gotta do it!) and then headed off to his sister’s for one of his family’s monthly group birthday parties. i was kind of nervous about meeting all the rest of the family, but it was unfounded. they’re all just as nice, laid-back and welcoming as the ones i’d already met several times.
now, i’m back at work, sitting in sean’s chair for the next three weeks. this change in duties has some pros and some cons:
pros:
– more money
– i’ve been told not to do ANY of my other work for the duration, which is oddly liberating (even though it means a backlog when i return to it)
– i get off at 3:30 instead of 4:00pm
– i get to see who walks by the office instead of just hearing footsteps
cons:
– i’m not fully versed in all aspects of the job, so i may fuck things up
– i can’t do any of my other job which will probably frustrate me to no end
– i have to start at 7:00 instead of 7:30am
– everyone who walks by the office will see me instead of not knowing i’m here
oh well, there’s not a lot i can do about it. i have to do it and i’m trying really hard to look at it as both a vacation from my usual job and a challenge, which i could use. regardless, i forsee a lot of grumpy in my immediate future. ugh.
i’m highly emotional today.
i just started crying when my boss told me something about the next couple weeks at work. christopher made a matter-of-fact statement and i interpreted it as a snark at me personally. i feel very delicate.
it’s like i need to either go sob like a baby for ten minutes or go out and get fucking plastered tonight after work. maybe i’ll do both.
then again, i probably won’t do either.
i’d planned myself a semi-quiet evening for last night: a quick hit’n’run trip to ikea for frames, go home to chow down on some yummy burrito leftovers and then park my butt in the chair to get some scanning done.
instead, jen and christopher hijacked me!
i’d mentioned my plans and, mistakenly, said “if you show up at the gate at 4pm, you can come with me”. that’ll learn me! about five to four, i got a phone call from chris “we’re on the train”. geez… a girl can’t even go to ikea without her damn boyfriend wanting to tag along.
tee hee.
actually, it was pretty damn awesome having them along. we tested out couches and mattresses, ate dinner (well, food-like substances) in the cafeteria and searched for the perfect frames. i also got coereced into buying a super-cute little braided umbrella tree plant. i was *this* close to getting the fig tree i’ve been coveting, but i didn’t think it would fit in the car. in addition, i found two big square frames for the two prints christopher had made for me and i finally bought myself the floating shelves i’ve been considering for half a year. i spent a bunch of money i really shouldn’t have, but i really felt the need to do something to make home more homey and this stuff’ll do just that.
what was weird and unexpected was the farmer’s market happening in the parking lot. jen went crazy with the superawesome jewellry (i don’t blame her, i’m not big on necklaces, but if i’d hadn’t already blown my wad, i’d have been tempted to buy stuff too) and christopher went crazy shooting with his newest camera. it was all very amusing.
after jen spent all our money, we all piled into the hessmobile and headed back to my place where chris turned all perfectionist dust-hunter framing his photos while i poured drinks. then we settled down with some pizza to watch a movie. ahh… all evenings should end with friends watching a funny movie.
of course, it was a late night by my pitiful standards. not only did i sleep so soundly i didn’t venture onto the other side of the bed at all, i managed to turn off my alarm without waking up, which meant i was late for work. oops!
now, the things i need to do this week:
– call the super about my broken toilet – new toilet to be installed tomorrow!
– borrow dad’s drill and hang new shelves – tools requested for the weekend
– eat the food in the fridge before it goes bad
– scan negs
– drop off film
– order prints
– take car in for oil change, etc.
bored. boring. borst.
sometimes i wonder why i feel so relieved after cleaning my apartment. then i wonder about what the people i know think about me when i tell them just how relieved i feel after cleaning my apartment. it’s not like my home is immaculate. i only rarely use a toothbrush to scrub anything (which i did last night). i’m actually a bit of a slob about certain things: papers, the bookshelf, cobwebs in corners, the bathroom, dusting in general.
there’s something wholly satisfying about surveying one’s kingdom in its state of clean and tidiness and then falling into a freshly laundered bed to sleep peacefully.
of course, only the surveying and falling happened to me last night. just after getting under the covers, christopher phoned all jacked up on sugar, talking like a manic junkie with a speech impediment. after talking to him for half an hour or so (okay, listening to him talk), i rolled over to go to sleep. then i rolled over onto my other side. then i turned onto my stomach, then i flipped onto my back. get the picture yet? finally, after trying deep breathing exercises and other relaxation techniques (no, not *that*, sheesh), i stuck some earplugs in my ears, tractioned my spine, snuggled a pillow and slept like the dead until 6:08 this morning.
the dreams were vivid until after my shower was complete, but, thankfully, not upsetting in the least. lots of people from my present, though — unlikely stars of my subconscious. they were all nice enough, except for when they abandoned me because of the power failure. after messing up the guest couch, too! jerks.
it’s tuesday. did you realize? seriously, why does this day hate me so? the corner of my CRT says it’s only ten past twelve. my internal registers disagree. they’re mostly convinced it’s nearly three-oh-seven in the pee em. i should convince my superiors to make allowances for this particular quirk in my make-up. just for tuesdays, the rest of the week are fine enough.
wouldn’t you love a burrito right about now?
it slipped my mind until i was driving home last night, but yesterday marked my sixth blogging anniversary. holy moly. goodness knows i never thought i’d keep this up more than a week, let alone six whole years.
so, here’s to all you people who’ve come and gone through my life thanks to this little website. you’ve made a mark and left an impression and i’m glad i got to know you some along the way. cheers!
and the world just keeps getting scarier…
i had a sudden thought, what if there really was no terrorist plot thwarted? what if this is just the governments’ way of using fear as a means to an end?
“hey, there were these people who were going to blow up three planes a day using liquid explosives, so now there is no hand baggage on any planes anywhere. oh, yeah, and you can’t travel without a passport, and a biometric ID card, and you better be able to account for your whereabouts during your entire trip because we’re putting an RFID tag into your cellphone/PDA/camera while it’s in the cargo hold of the plane. rights? this is for your PROTECTION. don’t you want to feel SAFE?”
then again, maybe i just shouldn’t have watched V for Vendetta the other week.
friday was a very bad day for me. i wasn’t looking forward to going to the island. i wasn’t looking forward to going out like i had plans to do. around two o’clock in the afternoon, the biggest, blackest, most self-loathing mood settled into me and all i wanted to do was hide in a corner and feel so fucking sorry for myself.
instead, i picked up christopher after work and we went out to dinner and marpole with jen and her friends from edmonton. about the time we were in the PT Cruiser heading south with no hope for escape, i started to forget just how awful i’d been feeling about myself. it’s interesting to me how just distracting myself so i don’t have time to think about my misery is enough to alleviate it. maybe the reasons for the mood aren’t gone, but there’s no time for wallowing, and sometimes that’s enough. having someone so supportive as chris right there with hugs and concern doesn’t hurt, either.
the island trip was good enough. mom likes it when i come over. i took some photos, found my very own Vivtar Ultra Wide & Slim camera at the thrift shop (for 99 cents!), watched a bunch of dvds and came home monday before the big ferry rush. i don’t think i’m due for another trip over until late september for mom’s birthday in victoria. the tourists should all be back home by then, i hope.
with yesterday off work, i spent the morning getting my house in order for the week. if all goes well, i won’t have to cook, clean or do laundry until sunday next. that should leave lots of time for scanning the zillions of negatives which need digitizing, but i’ll probably just spend all my time being a bum or hanging out with chris. maybe i should spend it trying to figure out what the hell to do with my life. regardless, whatever i do this week has to be cheap, i seem to have spent all my money somehow. must have been that 99-cent camera.
antsy. twitchy. headachy. testy. anxious.
spending a relatively low-key evening with christopher last night was exactly what the doctor ordered. we did a little shopping, watched a lot of marx brothers movies and ate even more yummy indian food (mm, pakoras). it was a good dose of quality time i was needing to make my week. and, considering my plans for the next few days (dinner & seeing kissed with jen tomorrow night, then taking off to the island for three days), it may be the only dose of boy i get for a while longer. *pout*
in other news, i finally bought myself some magic: the gathering cards, so travis can invite me to play with him and the boys again (and to the eatery for sushi!). i just need to find a couple of 20-sided dice and i’ll be all set. *taps to dispel dorkiness*
things i want to get accomplished, but probably won’t:
– cook & eat all the veggies i bought before i go to the island.
– sort & purge my linen chest.
– sort & purge my programming books/binders.
– dump any superfluous computer hardware i no longer need.
– clean out the car of trash.
– wash the car blankets.
– sort & purge my closet.
– organize/consolidate old photos.
– scan negatives & post photos.
– call the super about my leaky pink toilet.
because i can:
– i cooked the trout my dad caught on his fishing trip.
– who knew? i like trout.
– i baked a pie.
– august will henceforth be known as the month of fruit.
– i slept so hard, i felt hungover when i got up this morning.
– surprisingly, i remember all my dreams from last night: oh, lomo, how i wish i’d really received you.
– i’m feeling really mushy today, and a little sad.
– things i want to buy, but can’t afford: new mattress, lomo lc-a, photo printer, button making machine, big girl couch, plane tickets to [somewhere], car detailing, super-fancy haircut & colour, dresser, new car.
– i think i have new neighbours across the hall.
– i’ve totally lost count of how many rolls of film i have to scan, but i do know i have two more rolls in my bag i need to get developed.
– it’s freakin’ AUGUST already! how did that happen?
– craving sushi from the eatery.
– frustration: too many ideas to actually start on any one creative project.
so, that creative urge? yeah, it only got worse after going to illuminares saturday evening. even though, according to colene, it wasn’t as good a showing as previous years, the creativity of people’s lanterns and installations just fueled my desire to make things. christopher’s niece, leah, and i kept coming up with fun ideas for things to make for next year’s festival. i really can’t wait to try making our funky lanterns.
after spending all of saturday out and about, i spent sunday being a domestic goddess. got all my laundry done, dusted, washed dishes, de-squeaked the bed, etc. dad came over for a post-holiday de-briefing (and to bring me some speckled trout he caught). i watched a bunch of firefly episodes on dvd and some stuff i’d downloaded during the week. all in all, it was a lovely low-key day. now i’m ready for some excitement! heh.
feeling the inexplicable need to create something tangible.
i wish i could magically furnish myself with a printer and button-maker by four this afternoon. i’d cancel all my plans to make buttons and drink plum wine all weekend long.
or maybe i’ll just knit someone a scarf.
in hopes of a boost to my day, i decided to forgo my typical work uniform of jeans and steel-toed sneakers for the stripey pants and eyeshadow. the co-workers are reacting strongly to the change in wardrobe. i only hope i don’t get forced to do an emergency tool audit and ruin my new favourite outfit.
i dreamt about swimming to catch my own tuna for sushi dinner. i also dreamt about going to spa utopia for a massage. which do you think is the more likely to occur? maybe i’ll actually make an appointment before the summer is out. i could use me a little massage action. heck, maybe i’ll pick up sushi for dinner on the way home. mm, firecracker roll from the eatery…