my second life

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two years ago today, i was walking up the stairs to christopher’s house when my heart started galloping like a racehorse, i couldn’t catch my breath and it felt like someone was standing on my sternum. what i didn’t realize until i was lying in the ambulance hooked up to beeping things, and wouldn’t be confirmed until a few hours later after i received x-rays and a CT scan, was that the reason my left calf had been hurting for a week after my knee operation was that i had a clot in there — and that clot had decided that it wanted emancipation. so, it broke free and zipped through my hemoglobin highways and got stuck in my lung.

where it nearly killed me.

i was lucky in many ways that day. i was quick-witted enough to figure out what had happened even before the diagnosis. i was aware and persistent enough to tell my theory to anyone i came across. i live in a country whose medical system, despite its flaws, is amazing and available to everyone. i had the loving support of my boyfriend and father in the hospital while waiting for a prognosis.

i could have died that day.

the doctors all have mentioned that my clot was big, yet no one will tell me exactly how big it was. that makes me think it was the size of my head and they’re fucking amazed i didn’t drop dead right there. seriously, why wouldn’t they tell me unless it was really scary? so, i know that i dodged a clot-shaped bullet. people routinely die from emboli. one minute you’re walking up the stairs, next you’re dead. bam. just like that.
that could have been me.

it took me a good year to deal with all the PTSD associated with that near-death experience. i’m still not over it all. i have moments where it all comes back to me and i freak the fuck out. i will say that year two was definitely better than year one. this year, i started living again and i think i’ve actually done my second life a little justice this last twelve months.

let’s see, i…

– got rid of that crappy ass volkswagen and
– bought a shiny, new car
– ROAD TRIP!
– got cats. finally.
– had visitors from afar
– bootcamp! regular exercise has been amazing in helping me get my head on straighter.
– lost a wee bit of weight
– paid off ALL my consumer debt!!!
– had the best birthday in the last couple of decades!
– started enjoying living by doing things. with people. outside. OMG!
– got my guts fixed gallbladder removed so i don’t have random, debilitating pain harshing my joie de vivre

and, the best of all…

– booking a trip to England with Kimli & Renee in October!!!

so, yeah. my second life isn’t so bad. i’m kind of glad i’m getting to live it.

makin’ a list

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all i want to do is:

– read awesome books on my Kindle
– play with/snuggle/scritch/watch my cats
– day-dream about going to London & Paris

i wish i could try out:

– home staging/decorating
– real estate selling
– x-ray technicianing
– fashion designing
– food photography

i really would like to:

– throw out everything and start again
– paint the walls
– not talk for a week
– have someone deliver my meals so i don’t have to think about food

good things from this week:

– new shoes
– fun music times
– adorable cats
– taro slush with pearls, half sweet

things i am looking forward to:

– London & Paris
– mom visiting
– dad’s European river cruise photos
– bedtime

i am:

– tired
– hot
– broke
– dirty
– lazy
– trying

accomplishments

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as of Saturday night i had:
– procured a robot
– hand-washed my car for the second time (since i purchased it in April 2010)
– bought train tickets to Paris
– bought tickets to the top of the Eiffel Tower. in PARIS.
– had the best nap ever
– eaten a Korean burrito (eggs! why, eggs?!)
– gotten stuck in traffic way more than ever necessary
– got stared at by a table-full of people
– eaten a Pirate Pak! yarr!
– box-jumped! successfully!
– wore a pretty glass thing i made
– watched two sad stories of cat abuse which made me cry and hug my kittens so tight
today, i’m:
– watching my robot clean my floors (drunk robot!)
– procrastinating going to the food shops
– soon to go pick up my dad at the airport
– having dinner with the boy
– not having a nap
– dreaming of London & Paris

time flies (and so do i!)

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whoa! eleven years! i’ve been blogging for eleven years? that’s fucked up.

what’s the eleventh anniversary? steel! well… i did buy myself tickets for a big steel bird to take me to England in October! i guess that should count nicely. =)

so, yeah, after talking about going to England for ELEVEN YEARS (what a coincidence!), i’ve finally gotten around to buying tickets. they’re non-refundable and non-transferable, so i absolutely can’t bow out now. HOLY CRAP! i’m going to England! i’m giddy and scared and excited and thrilled and and and! i’m also so very glad that i’m going with Kimli & Renee. while i like to think that i’m all independent and stuff, i probably wouldn’t have ever gotten around to going there on my own. they’ll be my instigators and wing-women as we hustle around London (and maybe Paris? and/or Cardiff?) taking in all the awesome and making adventure in our own image.

SO EXCITED!!!

p.s. Kimli & i are sharing a table at the Blim market portion of Picnurbia Carfree Festival at the corner of Robson & Howe this Sunday. word is they’re laying turf on the street and everyone’s invited to roll around on it! i’m confused and delighted and hope y’all come buy to visit us!

so much thinking

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the neighbours with the squeaky dog toy sounding child moved from across the hall to an upstairs apartment (thankfully, not above me). i had a brief fling with thinking about flipping my life and living on the other side of the building. the pros & cons stacked up thusly:
pros
chance to start fresh
new paint
scrubbed from top to bottom
no stompy upstairs
none of stompy’s garden flotsam falling onto my balcony
building on that side is quieter, more mature
breezeway never used by loud people cutting through
excellent opportunity to really purge more stuff
re-arranging!
cons
all the address/utility changes just to change from #6 to #5
moving (ew)
costs (may be higher rent)
re-learning where everything is (it’s a mirror-image of my apartment)
upstairs mafia guy may be worse than stompy (hard to imagine, but possible)
might be hotter as it’s on side which gets direct sun most of the day
could have a worse bathroom/uglier kitchen/crappier doors & windows
but, really, i’m lazy and cheap, so i’m probably not going anywhere.
another thing i’m thinking about is London.
turns out there’s both an opportunity for free accommodation and a very cheap flight to England and i find myself seriously considering finally getting myself to Europe before i die. but, it’s still going to be many hundreds of dollars i find myself hesitant to divert from more responsible uses. i also have goals to get a new couch and i think i have a destination wedding i need to save up for. not to mention just saving for emergencies and avoiding the accumulation of any more debt (especially after having worked so hard to pay it all off last spring).
i got my first passport a dozen years ago just so i could go to England and it expired without a British stamp in it. how depressing.
of course, these two thinking things work against each other. if i move, i can’t afford to go to London. if i go to London, i can’t afford to move. hell, i if i go to London, i can’t afford to buy my new dream couch.
being a responsible adult fucking sucks. so does being broke (not poor, right Jen?).

oh, shut up already

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a perfect day

i am so tired of everyone complaining about the weather.
i don’t know what it is about Vancouverites and their extremely short memories when it comes to sunshine. we can have two weeks of beautiful, warm, bright days, but as soon as there’s a solid bank of clouds overhead or a sprinkle or two, out comes the whining, moping and general shitheadedness.
hey, it’s not the end of the world! it’s water. in the sky or falling from it. you know, H2O? aqua? the stuff of life?
and, really, who the fuck cares if it’s shitty from 8-5 M-F? most of us can’t be out enjoying any “good” weather then anyway, what with our cube-lives requiring us to hide under fluorescent lights and breathing recycled air for five-sevenths of our days.
yesterday morning was dark and dreary; but, it was also hot and muggy — ew. then the clouds broke and it got gorgeous just in time for you all to leave your office-cells! how is that possibly something to complain about?
today, it’s raining; but, the sky is pretty bright and, c’mon! the sound of ALL THE RAIN EVER falling? such a fantastic sound to wake up to (after i forgot to set my alarm and Rose stuffed her furry face into mine to ensure i wasn’t late for all that fluorescent recycled air)! i wanted to be able to lay in bed longer just to listen to it.
would you rather have 36°C with a 45°C humidex like they’re getting in the rest of the continent? are you insane? that’s just stupid and untenable. i’ll take 25°C and partial-clouds any day of the week, thanks.
grr.

never a dull moment

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yesterday, i had surgery to remove my troublesome gallbladder.
today, i hoped my hockey team would finally bring home the Stanley Cup.
tonight, i’m listening to my city recreate its 1994 shame.
i guess i’ll just take some morphine, go to sleep and hope that the morning brings a lot less pain of all types.

$13,000 in 13 months

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as the cats race around the apartment in their daily burst of insanity, i’m sitting here quietly celebrating the first time i’ve been bank loan free in the last ~15 years. hell, it’s been so long, i can’t even remember when i first started building debt. it was probably 1990 when i filled out that credit card application i found at the Capilano College (now University) campus. oh, how i wish i could go back in time and rip that thing out of my hand…
in the the interest of full disclosure, yes, i still have a car loan. so, i do still owe a bank money; but, i consider that an expense since it’s a 0% loan and doesn’t exceed the amount i was paying just for repairs for the Golf.
with a lot of hard work and spreadsheet time, i’ve been on track to pay off the bank for the last couple of years. the purchase of my new car last year threw a bit of a wrench in the plans to be entirely debt-free by this coming summer; but, when i realized that i was literally throwing money away on endless repairs, taking a bit of a detour was worth the delay in debt-freedom. regardless, i did manage to, while making payments on my new car, pay off $13,000 owing to RBC in just 13 months!
i made a lot of sacrifices to get here and i have a fair bit of rebuilding to do before i’m back in what i’d consider a comfortable financial situation, but the psychological payoff is so very worth it.
i will never pay interest again!

getting there…

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pending BIG NEWS to be announced (hopefully) tomorrow, i bring you a list of awesome possible tweets thanks to the That Can Be My Next Tweet generator:

  • I REALLY wanted umbrella when i let you hate FAT32?
  • I could. can I might explain the mocking. my gallbladder is definitely sick.
  • Huh? : – oh! what’s for taking him look bad. ; huh? : one will come complete the mocking.
  • Busy reading Piers Anthony & zinc and have to acknowledge work emails which i write them ass bars.
  • One will make funny faces when i have to arrive. hello inbox zero!
  • Dinner when you’re late to see SuckerPunch. I got it isn’t TPass. – will come fast enough. really.
  • I have things which felt weird. the Internet until Amy pushed her sister in, that was a flu, but I like!
  • I’m thinking I never know that with five loads of the cattle prod charging all night!
  • No coffee tastes gross. coconut flavour. – oh good. epic two-and-a-half-hour nap.
  • I’m kinda glad I know, right?
  • Current mood huh. sounds like they’re having another gall bladder attack or i hope it’s going out cats!
  • Cats are confused. cats make you thought it both easy and confused. cats don’t bother. – nope!
  • I’m giddy! really?

i can’t get a new iphone now…

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because @strombo touched mine!
Kimli took me to see George Stroumboulopoulos at the CBC today. he is shorter than he looks on tv, but nicer, funnier and oh-so-chatty. thanks to Kim & Ed being in line way early and Ed’s excellent seat-snagging we were DEAD CENTRE for the taping.
afterwards, we loitered longly in the meet’n’greet so i could do two things: get a photo taken with Canada’s Boyfriend and not make a fool of myself asking for either: him to talk to my mom on the phone (she’s in love with him) or make a new voicemail message for me. guess which i asked for? sorry, mom!
anyway, i’m super headachy from all the clapping and lack of proper snacks, so this post is short and hyper. but, yeah, i met George and he’s really nice.
that bastard.
and here’s a photo of me being adorable while George records the above message, taken by the talented and happily handy John Biehler:

Post show meet & greet with George

(p.s. hey, rss people. there is audio content in this post you must click through to the site to hear. click! go on!)

half-formed thoughts on a life cut short

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i originally started composing this post in my head. when i realized that particular grey blob wasn’t reliable enough to record all the details, i dictated it to my iphone thinking i’d transcribe it here. upon re-listening to it several weeks later, i came to the conclusion that i didn’t want to subject it to the rules of grammar and the inevitable edits and minor adjustments posts go through before, and sometimes after, hitting “post”.
it doesn’t conclude and it doesn’t include a lot of other things i might add if i were to type it out, but that’s okay. some things don’t need to be finished.
.m4a link because the embedded player broke the internet.
you may never know it, Derek K. Miller, but you’ve touched my heart. i wish yours nothing but joy in every moment you have left.
update: Derek passed away at home with his family by his side on May 3, 2011. if he wasn’t what a great man is supposed to be, i don’t know what else to call him. you can read his final post here.

back up the truck, tony

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i realized yesterday that i have $2,000 sitting in a bank account. just sitting. it’s not retirement or car insurance savings. it’s just… saved. the me from 1995 is like “WTF? why aren’t you spending that shit and all the other credit on your cards?! we have trips to take and crap to buy!!” hell, the me from 2005 is wondering the same thing. oh, time. how she changes us.

i’m going through a really strong phase of wondering why the hell anyone likes me. seriously, i keep observing my interactions with people and just shaking my head in disbelief that they see anything interesting or attractive about my personality (we won’t even talk about my external parts right now). i haven’t had such a prolonged bought of the unworthies for a long time and i don’t like it much at all. btw, this isn’t a plea for reasons why i’m awesome (that’ll just make me feel less deserving of them = IRONY), it’s just a getting-it-out-there.

i’d love to stop talking about my cats now, but they’re so fucking awesome, how can i? my favourite Amy thing is when i get home from work and she jumps up on the bed to head-butt me until we’re both almost concussed. my favourite Rose thing is watching her tubby little tabby body play with her rattly mouse toy — she’s a roly-poly play machine with a killer pounce.

two weeks until two weeks vacation. omg, so close.

it may not be a dyson, but i LOVE my new vacuum. wow. really. LOVE. it’s actually a little bit obscene. yay bissell! thanks, scott the vacuum sales guy at sears. you done me good. except, now all i want to do is vacuum shit. good thing there’s lots to vacuum these days.

i can’t get over how pissed off i get if i can’t complete a workout. last night, almost at the end of bootcamp, i started to get a leg cramp. it’s not uncommon, but it is kind of weird. i can feel it coming on and if i don’t manage it just right my entire leg will go into spasm. so, i ripped off my knee brace (i think that exacerbates it) and spent the last ten minutes of class hunched over in the corner trying to keep my leg from falling off. grr. i try so hard and i’m so disappointed in myself when i can’t finish the circuit or have to modify everything too much. i just want to do everything everyone else does, dammit! it feels like such a failure.

i’ve had kingsley for a year already and i’ve spent a grand total of $150 on maintenance. HAHAHA! take that, liselotte! i’m so glad i made the decision to get a new car last year. it has removed such a huge worry from my mind. i get in, it goes, it stops, i get out. it doesn’t hurt that it’s zoom-zoom cute, either. yeah, king. you and i are going to go far together.

ow.

my kingdom for some zed’s

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how many ways can i be woken up from my night’s rest:
sunday night: 1am – the neighbour kid starts drunken/angry yelling out his window to either someone outside or in the room with him, i couldn’t quite tell. it continued long enough that i was wide awake by the time it ended and took me forever to get back to some semblance of sleep.
monday night: 4:30am – the fire truck is attending something across the street. i didn’t realize this from sirens blaring, but from the low rumbling of its incessant motor idling. yeah, i understand that they need the engine running to power all their life-saving equipment, but at 4:30am? ugh.
tuesday night: 2:30am – a binner decides that it’s the perfect time to sort through all his recycled treasure. bottles and cans sure do make a lot of noise when being tossed from one shopping cart to another in the middle of the night. i’m all for binners, but really? isn’t he supposed to be sleeping under a bush at that hour?
i know i don’t live in the most peaceful of neighbourhoods. it’s the price i pay for the ridiculously central and convenient location. in addition, i have no control over the way my apartment is heated, so i tend to leave my windows open all year long, just to avoid living in a hotbox and cooking my cats while i’m away at work. i used to combat the noises with earplugs. they took some getting used to, but once i did, i would wear them pretty much every night to drown out the traffic, sexy neighbour times and the unrelenting gurgle of my energy-sucking refrigerator.
then i got cats.
turns out cats get into stuff when you’re sleeping. and, well, you kinda have to be able to hear the stuff they’re getting into so you can either: a) yell at them; ii) move them to a hard surface before they gack on the rug/couch; or, 3) monitor the situation but not do a damn thing because they’ve broken your spirit and you’ve reconciled never having anything nice ever again.
needless to say, since i got cats, i don’t wear earplugs. what logically follows that is: since i got cats, i don’t sleep. well, at least. while the cats themselves are now occasionally peaceful and go an entire night without trying to rip down or knock over something, i’m still subject to the noises of the outside world which are conspiring to ensure i have a mental break from lack of proper REM sleep.
i guess what i’m trying to say is that i’m tired and i don’t know what to do about it other than, you know, deafen myself to keep out the nocturnal noises which torment my slumber.

is it over yet?

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January has been the longest month. fuck, it’s not even over yet and it feels like it should be June or July instead of still January, for pete’s sake. ugh.
um, what’ve i done so far this year…
i’ve gone back to bootcamp, which was very much needed. i’m only two weeks in and already i feel better for it. i don’t think the spinach smoothies i’m downing daily are hurting either. i’m mostly on-track with my bootcamp diet, with severe and catastrophic lapses here and there (hello, pity pizza ordered last week). i don’t really like eating oats every morning, and going down to one cup of coffee on workdays is tortuous and just plain mean, but it could be worse. i’m eating lots of protein & rice & huge salads every day. oh, and i get to have my favourite yogurt every day. yay!
yeah, that’s about it.
oh, i took Christopher to the symphony for his birthday. we did the same last year, so i guess it’s tradition now. it was fun, i just wish i’d been feeling better for it. i don’t like being a cliche — sitting in the darkened theatre trying not to fall asleep to the classical music. oops.
seriously! it’s not even been a month since my mom left or Tyler arrived and it feels like i haven’t seen either for them for a year! do not like.
the kittens are awesome. i just wish Rose would stop trying so hard to get out the door and run down the hall. it’s stressful trying to get in or out of my apartment these days. but, at least she’s finally eating the hairball treats i got them — hopefully there will be fewer hairy surprises on my rugs now. i also think it’s freakin’ adorable that they both have their definite favourite toys and will mew and be weird until i retrieve them out from below furniture they get stuck under.
lately, i’ve been going to bed between 8:30-9:00pm, getting up between 5:00-6:00am and i’m still exhausted most of the time. that’s 8 full hours of (mostly) good sleep and it still feels like it would take an atomic blast to get me out of bed. i’m taking my supplements and eating lots of veggies and exercising, but ugh. i just blame winter. i can’t wait for it to be light until 9pm again.
my dad’s going to Cuba for two weeks, leaving Saturday. now he sure knows how to retire. i’m jealous but still very happy for him, he deserves it after all the years he put in working to take care of everyone else. what i didn’t realize until he mentioned it — but makes sense if you think about it — is that going to Cuba means a direct flight from Vancouver. since american airlines can’t land there, there’s no stops or plane changes in america for him. nice! no gate rape for my papa!
speaking of, i keep thinking i want to go visit my friends in Massachusetts this year, but i’m actually kind of scared and resentful of the security involved with flying to america these days. dudes, if someone wants to blow up or hijack a plane, they will, regardless of your security measures. there is always someone out there smarter than the system. blah. i hate stupidity.
btw, you’re awesome and i love you lots.

all together now

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when i win the lottery and i buy an apartment building for all my friends to live in with me, we will have a communal appliance cupboard. in it will be a food processor, stand mixer, waffle maker, george forman grill, juicer, vita mix (although, i might just put one of those in each kitchen) and all the fancy pans/tins/bowls/single-use items you see in Pampered Chef catalogs and food blogs.
i have a sudden craving for hummous. i have a can of chick peas in the cupboard, a jar of tahini in the fridge and i’m 45 minutes in a 450 degree oven away from having roasted garlic. unfortunately, i have no appliance which can combine these items into hummous. nor does anyone i know who i’d feel comfortable saying “hey, can i borrow/come over to use your food processor?” relatively nearby. hence the need for a communal appliance cupboard.
we could also expand it to include fancy craft tools (button makers, sewing machines, goccos, etc), tools (drills, levels, saws, routers, etc) and even household appliances (dyson vacuums, steam cleaners, etc). just think of all the money and space we’d save!
the catch is, of course, that everyone would have to live in North Van. with my million rescued cats (because, when i win the lottery, i’m going to save all the cats in the world). but at least we’d always have access to everything ever needed. ever.

heather vs. the recap

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oh, hey. it’s a new year. well, hi 2011! how’s it going? what’s your favourite movie? when did you lose your virginity? may i get you a canape?
my 2010 seemed to be the year of replacement. i replaced my car, my tv, my pvr, my internet provider, my computer, some furnitures, a friend or two, my operating system and my petlessness. it sounds kind of overwhelming (and expensive), but i managed to pull most of it off with a net savings. well, except for the car (kind of). that’s a little impressive, so i’ll allow myself a pat on the back.
i missed most of the Olympics fun because i was both working and sick. i did get to go to the last Victory Ceremony with my best friend, which made up for everything else.
i got told i was normal by the hematologist, stopped taking rat poison and started eating broccoli again. it was nice to stop being afraid i was going to drop dead any second.
i started going to bootcamp, eating three million cups of veggies a day, lost a few pounds, gained a lot of confidence and bought smaller jeans.
i drove to Kelowna in my new car to visit family, Gill and have adventure going from air conditioned place to air conditioned place.
i went to the symphony in Surrey and cried as they played my favourite piece.
i went to America with my mom and discovered that there’s no point in my going to Las Vegas because the cigarette smoke would probably kill me.
i. got. kittens.
my very best Tyler came to visit me for NYE all the way from America. we’ve been friends for over 15 years. we’ve hung out twice. we need to do that more often; but next time, it’s on his turf!
for 2011, i have one resolution: to keep the promises i make to myself.
it seems small, but it’s actually quite big. i have a bad habit of saying i’m going to do X and never really follow through. it could mean going to the gym or not eating crap or keeping in touch or not letting the shower walls get grungy or spending so much or whatever. i say i’m going to (or not going to, as the case may be) and then i don’t. and, most of the time, the only person who gets hurt or let down by my inability to get it done is me. i get less fit or fatter or broke or lonely or icked out. no one else. so, this year i’m going to try to respect myself a little more and keep the promises i make. to myself.
in addition to that resolution, i have one major goal: pay off my bank loan by my 39th birthday in July.
i’ve done some fiscal finagling and i’m on-track to do just that. what that means is that the only thing i’ll owe is my 0% car loan and i’ll suddenly experience a 10% increase in my disposable income. that’s HUGE! that extra breathing room in my budget will create an incalculable amount of stress-relief. i’ve been paying for my early financial stupidity for way too close to 20 years. it’s high time i slayed that beast and reclaimed a little more control of my money. and self-respect.
here’s to a lot less stress and a lot more fun. 2011, i’m looking at you!

crazy cat lady

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i’m going to make a confession. sometimes, when i think about my kittens, i start to cry.
yup, i’m a nutbar. i just can’t help it! i waited SO LONG to have cats and now i have two amazingly adorable, awesome, playful, pretty, crazy and hilarious cats… i get a little overwhelmed with just how much awesome they’ve brought into my life. it’s astounding to me how much i love them after only knowing them for a few weeks. i look forward to going home from wherever i am because i know they’re there waiting for me. yes, i may walk into shredded toilet paper or broken window blinds, but i don’t care. they’re my fantasti-cats!
gush.

Rose's sexy boudoir pose

they follow me around and mew and purr and want to help me with everything — especially eating my yogurt. they run around like little horses and wrassle on the bed and greet me with snuggles in the morning dark. they love everything about the bathroom and paper balls… oh, the paper balls. even when they’re shitheads or distracting me from what i’m trying to do, they’re perfect. i count myself very lucky to have found them and have them pick me to be their new handmaid. two kittens is not what i set out to find, but now that they’re with me, i couldn’t imagine making any other choice.
mrrf.

Amy's distinction

dear IKEA:

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I’ve been buying and loving your ALLEBY slippers for many, many years. Recently, I noticed that you’ve discontinued them and replaced them with the NJUTA slipper. I purchased three pair (I buy a lot of slippers — they make great slippers for guests and keeping my wet feet off the hardwood floors!), hoping that they would be comparable. Unfortunately, they weren’t.
I found them heavy and uncomfortable compared to the light and comfy ALLEBYs I’d grown so used to. Plus, after only a week of wearing them after a shower (yes, with slightly wet feet), they developed a sick, rotting smell I can only surmise was caused because the moisture had no chance to evaporate due to the new construction and materials.
While I understand and appreciate that products become obsolescent and it’s in your company’s interest to periodically refresh your product lines, I would entreat you to consider reintroducing the ALLEBY slippers. They were a superior product and one which there was no other comparator for yours in the slipper market. A soft-bottomed, uni-sized, inexpensive slipper? Trust me, I’ve tried finding one out in the marketplace and there are none to find. If they are available, they are definitely not at IKEA’s price point.
Alternately, I’m sure there’s got to be a supply of the leftover, unsold slippers in a carton in a warehouse somewhere in IKEA’s domain. What are the chances of my procuring a dozen or so for my own? Wouldn’t your company rather store less and collect some revenue from them? I beseech you to take pity on a girl who just adores your ALLEBY slippers and dreams of one day slipping another pair on her (sometimes damp, but always chilly) feet.
Thank you very much,
Heather
[yes, i did just send this email to IKEA Canada. boy, i hope it works.]

case study: twin tabbies

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amy is a jumping cat. she leaps and twists in the air and even when she doesn’t land on all four feet, she always gets up to jump some more. she also likes to follow me around the house. she doesn’t often want to interact with me, but if i get up to go somewhere, it’s not long before she rounds a corner just to check up on me. amy loves to chase crumpled up paper balls. she two-paws them around the living room and down the hall, occasionally dropping down on top of them and growling low in her throat. amy is the skinny sister. she’s long and lean and soft and pliable. she lets me pick her up and turn her over without a fuss. i can stretch her out or curl her up and she’s content to humour me until… then she bats at my fingers with her soft little paws, hardly ever using her claws, but oftentimes using her teeth. she likes to nibble, that one; but, never hard. just enough to show she’s fearsome. amy is also curious. she’s always looking around for something to discover. she curled up in the cables under my desk. she jumped up to the shelf with the photo frames. she lays down on top of my mac mini. she climbs up the back of my desk chair. she sits in the sink and plays with a trickle of tap water. she perches on the windowsill. she walks around the toilet as i’m using it. she inspects everything i eat before i can. at night, she likes to crawl under the covers and curl up beside me for a while. not a long while, but it’s enough. it’s sweet and i scritch her chin and tell her she’s a good kitty.
rose is an observing cat. she likes to sit on a chair or the couch and nap. she sits in front of the sliding door and watches everything going on outside. she gets very excited when a squirrel visits the balcony. she loves the laser pointer and will run around until she stops and pants with her mouth open. she mews when you wake her up with a pat and a scratch. she’s the fat sister. when her sister swoops in and steals her toy she will hiss at her. rose will sometimes hold up her previously-injured paw like it still hurts and that makes me sad. she will sleep with me almost all night and take up half the bed by stretching out and showing her spotted belly. she likes to eat the small pull on my bedside lamp. she jumps into the bathtub after i’ve had a shower and licks up the water drops. rose hates closed doors and will try with all her might to get her paws under one in hopes of opening it. she’s a talker, when she wants to be, and will sometimes hold a full conversation. once in a while, she gets very affectionate and rubs up against my legs and will jump up to head-butt my hands. she doesn’t like cuddling or being picked up very much, but if i hold her like a baby i can get her to stay a little while longer by giving her her tail to nibble on. rose loves to chase toes under a blanket and will hop four-footed across the mattress to get at them. rose likes to lay beside me on the couch while i watch tv, especially if i have a blanket overtop me. her purr is rattly and loud and makes the whole bed vibrate.

but, it’s Sweden!

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oops. well, i guess i haven’t been all that diligent about posting this month. but, i will say i think i did pretty well for someone who hasn’t been in the habit since, oh, last NaBloPoMo. 22 out of 30 days? not bad, indeed. go me!
sorry about all the cats. but, just like when people start spawning, all i have to talk about these days are my infuriatingly adorable purr babies. you know, like how they managed to destroy two framed photographs last night while i was down in the laundry room for no more than seven minutes. sigh.

as i was talking to my mom last night, i mentioned to her that i’ve been reading a lot lately about the minimalist movement, i just didn’t realize that adopting kittens would force me into the lifestyle with the removal of all my stuff from my walls, shelves and floors in the name of kitten-proofing. or, as i said to Christopher, i just can’t have anything nice now that i have cats. oh well, at least i have the cats. they’re pretty nice. most of the time.
i’ve been reminded lately of how hard it is to have friends who live very far away. i’d almost forgotten what it felt like after i started to have friends who actually lived in the same area code as me. it’s a strange sensation. on one hand, it’s so amazingly awesome to have a connection with someone fantastic who really gets you; on the other, it’s such a heart-breaker to not be able to spend real time with them because of epic geographical impedance. and to think, for a good seven years or so, those were the only kinds of relationships i had. how sad for me. it both makes me very glad of my awesome local friendships and disappointed for all the things which get missed because my other friends aren’t nearby. everybody needs to move to Vancouver. we’ll get a giant old house and live commune style! but with more frequent showers and no fucking patchouli.
tomorrow night is the finale for ANTM cycle Boring and there will be people playing with my cats to enjoy it with. this weekend, Kingsley goes in for his second service and i will be exercising my bumper-to-bumper warranty and getting yet another set of new windshield wipers because the ones they put on in July are shitty streaky and gross. seriously! they only last four months?! blah. stupid cheap wipers! a least they’ll be free. oh, and Sunday is Got Craft? day! i’m almost considering lining up at 7am just to get in on the swag bag magic. anybody want to come line up with me?
oh, yeah, i think i’m skipping Christmas this year. i can’t decorate because of cats and i shouldn’t bake because of the size of my ass. my work party was last Friday, so i boycotted and trying to organize a department lunch is full of frustration. if the weather co-operates, i’ll be going to Parksville to spent a couple of days with my mom, leaving my cats alone to destroy anything left out in my apartment. if the weather is prohibitive, i think Kimli has said she’s going to kidnap me, which might be the most festive option available to me.